Dear Tell All: I met a woman on Tinder and liked her. She’s smart and attractive, with a sense of humor and values that match mine. She’s the first person I’ve been excited about in a while.
We saw each other a handful of times over the course of a month and didn’t go much beyond kissing. Finally, she slept over. I looked forward to taking the relationship to the next level but got a surprise when she peeled off her clothes. Her back and legs were covered with big, gross tattoos.
I’ve always hated tattoos, to the point of having a phobia. I find it sickening that people scar their bodies with kitschy images that will never go away—indeed, that will only get uglier as they age. I’ve met so many women in Madison with blotchy designs that I put “nobody with tattoos” in my Tinder profile.
I was ticked off that my current girlfriend either didn’t notice “nobody with tattoos” or ignored it. Between that and my revulsion at her asymmetrical smattering of angels, stars, fairies and wings, I couldn’t perform sexually. She was so comforting about it, however, that I didn’t confront her about the tattoos.
She’s texted me since then and I haven’t responded—yet. Any advice for what I should do?
Unblemished
Dear Unblemished: Let me get this straight: You’re wondering whether to answer a text from a woman who’s smart and attractive, with a great sense of humor and admirable values—the first one you’ve liked in a while. A woman who comforts you when you can’t perform sexually.
Man, sometimes being an advice columnist is way too easy.
YES YOU SHOULD TEXT HER BACK!
I don’t want to minimize your tattoo phobia, Unblemished. If you can’t get over your revulsion, you clearly don’t have a future with this woman. But how about trying a little harder to get over it? After all, you merely had one bad night. Is it possible that your girlfriend’s good qualities will outweigh a problem that is—by definition—only skin deep?
I think it’s possible. Give her another chance and see what happens. You might fall so deeply in love that you’ll consider a tattoo for your own back—a heart with her name on it.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?
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