I'll wear the stocking cap, put some soot on my face, and very casually step on the toe of one of the Socialist International Party cadres. Grind the heel in for good effect while the poor radical writhes in pain then make off for the van with the one-way windows to watch the ensuing melee.
The Capitol Square will degenerate into one classic Western movie fight scene like that one that closed Blazing Saddles. Call me Hedley Lamarr and smile when you say that.
Or maybe empty a bag of marbles on the floor of the Rotunda, while my frat brother Flounder in Animal House exclaims, "Boy, this is GREAT!"
As if Gov. Scott Walker had a closet full of Nixon's Plumbers headed by that arch operative, G. Gordon Blaska!
Yes, Gov. Scott Walker got punked. There is a lot of foofaraw about the fake call perpetrated by a merry prankster from Buffalo, NY. The prankster suggests planting troublemakers among the crowd, in a Nixon dirty trickster kind of way.
The man in charge ruled it out. He actually chastised "David Koch" for even bringing it up. And the proof is in the pudding. We are completing week 2 of the Great Siege of the State Capitol and there has been no rough stuff. Instead, the governor says, "Let them protest all they want."
"Koch": We'll back you any way we can. What we were thinking about the crowd was, uh, was planting some troublemakers.
Walker: You know, well, the only problem with that - because we thought about that. The problem - the, my only gut reaction to that is right now the lawmakers I've talked to have just completely had it with them, the public is not really fond of this…... My only fear would be if there's a ruckus caused is that maybe the governor has to settle to solve all these problems … Let 'em protest all they want … Sooner or later the media stops finding it interesting.
"Thought about it?" Sure. Do you think a staffer in the back of the room piped up, "This might sound off the wall but why don't we ...?"
Here is the bottom line: Walker didn't do it. "Let them protest all they want." Can anyone deny Walker's actions -- or, in this case, inaction -- speak louder than words?
Finally, why would Gov. Scott Walker spend 20 minutes on the telephone with David Koch (pronounced "coke")? Two reasons: he is a major campaign contributor -- O.K.? -- and the Kochs employ over 3,000 Wisconsin workers in taxpaying private sector jobs. Why would you not take his call?
Now the unions besieging the State Capitol are saying they will compromise by agreeing to increased pension and health care contributions. But that is not what they are doing back home. Governor Walker points out examples in La Crosse, Milwaukee, Racine, Sheboygan, Janesville, and right here in Madison where the county board agreed to a 3 percent pay increase and no givebacks on pensions.
And, did you notice? the Madison College part-time instructors dropped their lawsuit; now they want to settle and settle quick.
In a debate on campaign finance at the UW Memorial Union organized by Common Cause Monday evening, Sen. Jon Erpenbach, participating via speaker phone, lamented that Tommy Thompson always compromised.
Interesting how Democrats want to compromise when they are in the minority, isn't it? I think Gov. Thompson had both houses of the Legislature for his party maybe two years out of the 14 he was chief executive.
I've got a poll going on over at the Forum on whether Sen. Dale Schultz's proposed compromise is a good deal. Schultz would restore bargaining rights after a two-year moratorium. The consensus among what I take to be the overwhelmingly liberal readership of the Daily Page is, "no deal."
So, why should Republicans' compromise?
Is Barack Obama oppressing federal employees?
If Scott Walker tried to unilaterally do to state government employees what President Barack Obama did to federal employees, well, hell hath no fury.
Steven Malanga of the Manhattan Institute pointed out in an interview with the Christian Schneider of Wisconsin Policy Research Institute that federal workers do not have the right to bargain for wages or benefits. How do you think President Obama was able to unilaterally impose a public-sector wage freeze? No congressional action, no bargaining with the unions. He just did it by executive order. Charlie Sykes provides a tutorial.
Brother Schneider has some history of the purely partisan considerations behind Wisconsin becoming the first state to grant state and municipal employees the right to collectively bargain.
Socialist mayor opposed municipal collective bargaining
Here is Frank Zeidler, the Socialist Party mayor of Milwaukee, Wis., from 1948 to 1960, writing on the consequences of collective bargaining by public employees, in the magazine Personnel, July- August 1969, as quoted in today's Wall Street Journal.
This sharing of powers in wage determination and conditions of employment through the negotiation process has in turn diminished public officials' authority in other areas of policy involving organized employees.
The net effect has been to create what amounts to a two-chamber local government. One chamber is made up of elected representatives and chief executives - aldermen, councilmen, county board or commission members, mayors or other chief executives - the traditional decision-making body for local government. The other chamber comprises the organized public employees who have gained official recognition to negotiate. The public business on wages and conditions of work, and therefore indirectly on policy, cannot be carried on without mutual agreement between these two Chambers. . . .
The implications of this new method of reaching decisions in local government put an entirely different aspect on the sovereignty of councils and executives and elected officials as well. The challenge of organized public employees can mean considerable loss of control over the budget, and hence over tax rates and over government programs and projects.