Ah, campaign season, when a candidate's fancy turns to thoughts of a publicly-subsidized paycheck. They all emerge from hibernation, dust off their talking points, and begin to hoof it around their districts to glad-hand and baby kiss 'til the cows come home.
Much like how late winter holds the tantalizing promise of balmier months to come while still slapping us in the face with continued drudgery and nastiness, campaign season can be a frustrating time. In the quest to win favor, candidates too often rely on personal attacks and shaky partisan accusations. The slew of speeches, ads, and off-the-cuff nonsense can wear on the average citizen. But if one approaches the festivities with the right attitude, there's also comedy to be found.
Rebecca Kleefisch is the most recent candidate to provide just such fodder. The former WISN-TV morning anchor is hoping to secure the title of lieutenant governor of Wisconsin on the Republican ticket. At the moment, the only qualifications she seems to be touting are being a "proud conservative woman" and maintaining a weekly blog over at right-wing radio squawker Charlie Sykes' home on the web.
It was to the latter that Kleefisch posted a particularly goofy video on Feb. 10 (brought to my attention by Whallah!), wherein footage of wild turkeys going mano a mano is accompanied by a few puddle-deep musings on some favorite GOP bullet points. Take a look.
Fortunately, I happen to own a rare but much sought after Political Silliness Translation Machine, and because my only desire is to serve the public interest, I put it to good use by feeding Kleefisch's turkey opus through it. The results, for your edification: