I am a 34-year-old single woman, divorced for six years, no kids. And although I've rather enjoyed playing the field, I'm getting that urge to start a family. Unfortunately, few men have come along that I would consider marriage material. The one person who did, a guy I dated for almost a year, accepted a position in Phoenix, and I just couldn't see myself living in Phoenix. He's now married to someone else, which is fine with me.
Since it doesn't look like my own Mr. Right is just going to walk up and introduce himself, I've started to look around. And one person I've landed on is a guy who works where I do, though not in the same office. He's very friendly when I meet him in the hallway. And I think he's attractive, although I can see where others might not agree. What he has are really nice eyes. Anyway, I've thought about asking him out, but when I mentioned that to one of my office mates, she took me aside and said, "You know he still lives with his mother, right?"
Well, I didn't know that, but I pretended I did. And I didn't like the implication that there's something wrong, even creepy, about still living with your mother when you're in your 30s. (He may be in his 40s, but I'm guessing 30s.) But after I thought about it a little more, imagined myself getting to know him (and his mother) better, I must confess that it didn't seem all that appealing. Of course, maybe she's a wonderful woman, in which case it would be great, but what are the chances of that? And isn't it much more likely that she's a little, shall we say, possessive?
The reason I'm writing to you is to ask whether you think there's anything to be concerned about. Do momma's boys make good husbands?
The Other Woman
The Other Woman: His name wouldn't happen to be Norman, would it? And he wouldn't happen to be a taxidermist, would he? And after watching women take showers through a hole in the wall, then slashing them to bits while wearing a woman's wig and dress, he doesn't tend to play the whole thing down by saying "Everybody goes a little mad sometimes," does he? No? Well, then I think you're fine. Actually, that might make a good test. Watch Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, preferably by yourself, preferably in a root cellar, and if you still feel like asking the guy out afterwards, go for it!
Kidding (and killing) aside, do I think momma's boys make good husbands? Yes, I do, but only when they marry their mommas, literally or figuratively. Having been coddled for so long, they're going to expect more coddling, and as long as they wind up with someone who'd rather coddle than cuddle, there's no problem. The thing is, Other Woman, we haven't established for sure that your guy's a momma's boy. Maybe his momma's a boy's momma instead. Let me put it another way: Maybe, instead of him living with her, she's living with him. Maybe she has health problems, mental or physical. Maybe she's unable to live alone. Maybe he's the closest relative.
Then again, maybe she gets up every morning and fixes his breakfast just the way he likes it - two eggs, over easy, one slice of toast, lightly buttered and with the crust removed, a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal with the banana slices carefully arranged along the bowl's rim so as to resemble the helm of the Good Ship Guppy and...what else? Oh, orange juice in a sippy cup.
In all seriousness, I think you need to find out more about this guy. And what better way to do that than by asking him out? He's probably a perfect gentleman, but if you're worried about being alone with him, ask his mom to chaperone.
For what happens when a momma's boy meets daddy's little girl, write to: MR. RIGHT, ISTHMUS, 101 KING ST., MADISON, WI 53703. OR CALL 251-1206, EXT. 152. OR E-MAIL MRRIGHT@ISTHMUS.COM.
