Hence, Screwed, Alexander Crawford's flaccid documentary about this self-described "shy, introverted Jewish kind of guy." I see no reason to doubt Goldstein's Jewishness, but the part about shy and introverted--that's hard to swallow. In fact, the first words out of Goldstein's mouth are what Alex Trebek likes to call an answer phrased in the form of a question: "Are there many women here waiting to be penetrated by my manly dick?" Apparently, there often are, despite Goldstein's rather advanced age and Wellesian gut. A born talker as well as a porn talker, he waddles through the movie like a pasha with a rent-by-the-hour harem.
Unfortunately, he doesn't waddle through enough. Perhaps addled by all the Triple X activity going on around him, Crawford has trouble focusing his thoughts. He brings in all sorts of not-quite-irrelevant-but-not-quite-relevant-either stuff regarding S&M, B&D, prostitution and the porn industry. The case can be made for how those are all related, but Crawford hasn't made it. All in all, he's better at T&A than Q&A; he lobs softballs at Goldstein that would sail out of the park if Goldstein would just keep his eye on the ball. As it is, they're both a little too lazy, and so's the movie. After watching it, I felt like I was the one who got Screwed.
