Anneliese Nappa
There are a lot of sketch troupes making the rounds these days. How is it possible to stand out in a crowded field? Well, it helps to be insanely funny, maybe a little off-the-wall, but above all, look like you're having fun. The members of Aunty Donna — one of Australia’s biggest comedy acts and bona fide YouTube sensations, with millions of views on catchy music videos like “Professor Whiskers” and “Bikie Wars” — are taking American stages by storm on their second U.S. tour.
I was lucky enough to chat with the trio of Mark Samual Bonanno, Broden Kelly, and Zach Ruane ahead of their stop in Madison June 23, part of their Aunty Donna: Big Boys tour — a mixture of sketch, song and relentless energy. What ensued was one of the wackiest calls I've ever had. This article was meant to be a straightforward Q&A, but it turned into a series of improv sketches that the big boys were performing just for me.
The guys had done their homework on Madison. Each individual asked me about specific Madison features. Broden has a strong desire to check out Henry Vilas Zoo, which “comes equipped with its own lion. Roar!” Mark and I had an exchange over whether Lake Mendota was better than Lake Monona. That led the conversation down a glorious tangent riffing on the comic confusion that arises from Australians calling coffee “brown water.”
We talked about mustard for, honestly, over half of the phone call, along with mustard wives, mustard factories, and the world-famous Mustard Museum in Middleton.
This funny trio is “really excited to head to Madison,” says Mark. “We've heard some wonderful things about the city. Our show is a wacky, off-the-wall, absurd, unique brand of sketch comedy you've never seen before.”
“But when you walk out, you're gonna say 'I wanna see that again,'” adds Broden. “We'd love for Madison to come give us a go! You're gonna have a great night.”
The conversation is excerpted below.
How's Los Angeles treating you?
Broden: We're having a great time. We're getting over severe and crippling jet lag, and we've put on 80 pounds of American food.
Zach: I definitely got a food baby.
Have you named it?
Zach: Yes. Zach. I've named it Zach Jr.
Zach: We've come to LA to get over the jet lag, because we want to make sure the first shows on the leg of the tour aren't jet lagged, and we want to give everyone a great time. We've spent the whole time lounging about on Sunset Boulevard like a couple of regular Bette Davises.
On your first time through the States, did anything weird happen? Did you have any oddballs come at you on the tour?
Mark: The only oddball that came up was the film Oddball, [edited] by our friend Max Miller, which is about a dog that… she's a friend.
Broden: Oddball is an Australian film about a dog who saves penguins from being eaten by foxes.
Zach: You know it as Oddball and the Penguins here in the U.S., where it was renamed to better convey the story, and the amount of penguins featured in the story.
Broden: So, when you say did any oddballs come to our show? Yes. The film Oddball was screened at all of our shows.
Mark: If you love Oddball, then you'll love our new show Aunty Donna: Big Boys. You know what? Yeah, I met a few oddballs on the tour last time. Their names were Zach and Broden!
Have you guys been here before?
All: Nah.
Mark: We've never had the chance. We've never been lucky enough to come check out the University of Wisconsin-Madison Arboretum, which, we've heard, is one of the best in the world, as far as arboretums go.
Broden: Not to mention Lake Mendota, which is slightly better than Lake Monona.
You are 100 percent correct on that. It's the most glorious brown water you've ever seen.
Broden: I love brown water.
Mark: Brown water? Brown water is what we call coffee back home! You go down to one of our brown water cafes, you say “Get me an iced brown water,” they bring it out to ya, and they say “Do you want thick white with that too?” Yeah, give me some thick white!
Zach: That's what you'd call a cafe latte, or a “dairy boy.”
Mark: We call it brown water with thick white.
Zach: I went to a Starbucks in LA, I walked in and I said “I'll have a brown water with some thick white, and I can get some low-fat dairy boy?” and they said “Did you mean you want a cafe latte with low-fat milk?” and I said “Oh, how embarrassing.”
In my research, I saw that two of your shows were named after a high school and a college, respectively. Your new show is called Big Boys. Does this represent that you guys are maturing, or does it represent your growing international fame?
Zach: Broden just put his hand up, so he'll be answering.
Broden: Big Boys is a show loosely based on the National Mustard Museum in Madison. Are you familiar with the mustard museum?
I mean, there's a bunch of mustard there. You can't eat any of it though.
All: WHAT?!
Mark: We wanna buy some in the gift shop!
Broden: Mark, please, you're getting violent.
Mark: NO! No, I refuse.
Broden: Mark has just picked up a couch and thrown it out the window. (Mark screams in background) And he just hit a man smoking crack.
Where do you guys fall on a good deli mustard?
Mark: Ugh, we're not gonna answer these questions! What, do you think we're gonna talk about mustard all day?! No! We wanna talk about the show! So if you've got questions, ask them!
Broden: Yeah, could we not talk about mustard for five fucking seconds?!
Mark: Josh, it’s no wonder you're from MADISON! All this fucking mustard shit. You know how hard it is to have dedicated seven years to becoming the best-pitched comedians in Australia? We have worked our ASSES off! Then everyone is just asking us about one thing we did once?! Yeah, we did a mustard show! We did ONE mustard show! It was the best show we've ever done. Drop it! Like...
Broden: Yeah, ask us about this show, ask us about Big Boys. Please!
All: Please!
Alright, well, what's the ratio of sketch-to-song you have planned for this show?
All: Great question.
Mark: Mostly mustard. A lot of mustard.
Zach: A lot of people come to live comedy and the big question we get is “Oh, there's lot of editing, lots of camera work in your films. How does that translate to a live show?” It's not really a live show. Really, it’s more just us giving out tablespoons of mustard. An audience will come see it, and we'll just give 'em mustard!
I actually wanted to know if, since you guys put out so much content, there's any sketches or songs you had started to work on and abandoned at any point? Or chose not to put out a finished product?
Broden: Yeah, we put out a lot of condiments. The main condiment that we put out is mustard.
Mark: I mean, if we have to talk about it...
Zach: Yeah, we run a mustard factory in Melbourne. We're really the authorities on the mustard business. There's a town named Abbotsford. My father used to have a mustard factory there. The rent's gotten a bit high. We sold that factory. It’s recently been turned into waterfront apartments. We've just opened a new factory in Coburg.
Mark: Josh, we just wanna say thank you for all the mustard questions! We don't often get asked about mustard that much, and it’s a real pleasure to be able to talk about mustard. So please keep the mustard questions coming!
Zach: I'd say it’s a breath of fresh air, but mustard is too spicy to be called fresh.
Mark: A breath of mustard air, which is like a fart after too much mustard.
Zach: Are you a millennial, Josh?
Technically, yes.
Broden: How old are you?
I'm 26-and-a-half.
All: Oooooh!
Mark: Is this for a magazine or a blog?
Broden: I can tell you what it's for! It's for the weekly paper!
Zach: My partner, she runs—
Broden: She's a big bottle of mustard.
Zach: You don't know? I left Mustard.
Broden: So sorry, Josh. I thought Zach's partner was a big bottle of mustard. But I just found out that they are separated, and now he's seeing a woman.
Zach: I'm seeing a woman by the name of Annie. Me and Mustard, that didn't work at all. Since you brought it up, Josh, me and Mustard…
Mark: Her name was just Mustard?
Zach: Yeah. Me and Mustard, she was really good to me. Mustard. Mustard Mustard. I wasn't very good to her, is the thing. You know I loved her, and I was good to her when I was with her, but I was sleeping with Ketchup. I was sleeping with a girl named Suzette from France. When Mustard found out about that, she went into a blind rage and she tore out some of my hair.
Oh man, are you alright now?
Zach: Yeah, I'm fine.
Broden: I wouldn't hold that against the big bottle of mustard. I would've done the same thing.
Zach: I wasn't good to her! I was young, and dumb, and full of… mustard.
Broden: What do you mean by that?
Zach: Like, normal mustard you'd find on a burger or something.
Mark: It's very confusing when your favorite condiment is mustard and you're also dating Mustard. I was like “Oh, yeah, spread some mustard all over me.” I was talking about the condiment, but then you would walk over and punch me and say “Don't talk about my girl that way!” But I was fuckin' Mustard on the side as well.
Zach: I know, I know.
Aunty Donna will appear at Overture Center for the Arts on Saturday, June 23 at 8 pm.
