The Quad Squad
As this weekend's second bout of the Quad Squad is a lean, mean, and very green machine.
With seasoned veterans like Jenny Knoxville (who tops the MRD charts with 566 career jammer points), Princess Die (three-time most valuable pivot), and Lizzie Borden (ranked #1 blocker for points differential), along with standouts like Stitch, Vanna Whitetrash, Thunder Kitten, and a few bright new stars, the superheroes in green have both brains and brawn. And under the new leadership of third-year veteran Joan of Anarchy, the Squad is ready to don their capes and fly to the rescue -- or, at least, another championship.
"We're like the stereotypical geek who takes off her glasses at the party to unveil her inner hottie -- and then wins an arm wrestling match against the quarterback," Captain Anarchy, who sports teamy green hair and thick black-rimmed specs, reported. "It's exciting to craft lofty strategy goals and have the muscle to bring those strategies to life on the track."
The Quad Squad takes on longtime rivals, The Reservoir Dolls, on Saturday. The two teams have a competitive history, including three championship bouts. After falling to the Res Dolls in the 2005 finals, the Quads came back for blood in 2006 and won the title. Last year, the crime syndicate bested the superheroes by only one point.
"It's going to be an exciting season," Joan said. "Each year, teams change and grow; but for the past three years, the same teams have lined up against each other for finals. It's been a fun three years, but I think we're all ready for a change this season. This year, all of the teams are stronger than ever, and the finals trophy is truly up for grabs. All four teams are working hard to earn the trophy, and it will definitely be interesting to see how the season unfolds."
Ms. Anarchy chalks up the team's success to many different factors.
"Quad Squad is a close team," she said. "We have strong relationships off the track, aiding our communication and teamwork on the track. We're not the kind of team that goes for flashy fouls and other showboating antics. When the whistle blows, we're calm and focused, amped up to dominate and take home the win."
She adds, "the secret to our success is a simple equation that combines clean play, tight teamwork, hard hits, smart strategy, and, most importantly, fun." Here is the Squad's roster for this season:
Allie Gator #18 ft long
Anya Knees #12
Bella Donna #42 (Co-Captain)
Britnee Smears #81
Jenny Knoxville #16
Joan of Anarchy #24601 (Captain)
Kit Shickers #?
Lil Miss #6.6
Lizzie Borden #79
Princess Die #5
Sassafrass #17 (Co-Captain)
Shady Hawkins #90
Tegan A Hit #3
Thunder Kitten #11
Vanna White Trash #28
More about the Quad Squad can also be found on its MySpace page.
Many of the Quad Squad's returning players also skate for the Dairyland Dolls, Madison's national traveling team. Coached by the Squad's own Jenny Knoxville, these DDs are set to host the eastern regional tournament in Madison next October, when players from all four home teams will wear the same uniform, facing teams from across the country in search of a national title.
"It's exciting to be part of such a unique, young sport," Joan of Anarchy remarks. "We're creating building blocks on which our sport will develop and thrive. I dream of the day that our granddaughters play in the Super Bowl of Flat Track Derby, using the QS Shocker or Green Machine Maneuver to take home the win."
You can see the Quad Squad take on the Reservoir Dolls this Saturday, Feb. 23, at Fast Forward Skate Center, 4649 Verona Rd., Madison. Doors open at 6:30, action starts at 7. Tickets are $10 in advance, and can be purchased online and at Freedom/Knuckleheads, Capitol City Tattoo, Cha Cha Beauty Parlor, the High Noon Saloon, Lakeside Press and Fast Forward Skate Center.
Melissa Faliveno skates as Harlot Bronte with the Mad Rollin' Dolls and works as an editor and freelance writer in her spare time.