Andy is looking to buy a ukulele. 3 hours ago - Comment
Andy is sorry he sold his scuba gear in 1979. 10 minutes ago - Comment
Andy is, from now on, starting all status updates from the moment just after his poor scuba gear decision. 4 minutes ago - Comment
Andy has a crush on the girl who sits in the front row of Harvey Goldberg's Western Society class in Humanities. 21 seconds ago - Comment
Andy is going to see Violent Femmes at Headliners tonight. 1 minutes ago - Comment
Andy is sorry to forget that "status update" is defined as right now. 6 minutes ago - Comment
Andy is experiencing a healthy resting pulse. 30 seconds ago - Comment
Andy is up to here with friends who begin their status updates with the words, "The beach is..." 1 hour ago - Comment
Andy is never, ever, in a million years going to mention coffee in a morning status update. 10 hours ago - Comment
Andy is now friends with Secretariat. - Comment
Andy is not stimulated by Facebook friends' non-stop political posts that he already agrees with. 48 minutes ago - Comment
Patrick Stoddard posts a comment: Screw you, ass-hat. Get stimulated by this Death Metal video, then.
Andy is now a member of "Death Metal to the Death."
Andy is creating a website that sells clever status updates to people who can't get those going on their own. 10 minutes ago - Comment
Andy is spending vast amounts of time on Facebook and that's it. I quit. 30 seconds ago - Comment
Andy is all, "what was I thinking?" 33 seconds ago - Comment
Andy is surrounded by Facebook friends who he's never once been in the same room with. 6 hours ago - Comment
Andy is confirming, for tonight only, all friend requests! 36 minutes ago - Comment
Andy is serious about the open-ended friend confirm, so fire away! 21 hours ago - Comment
Andy is closing the friend confirm offer. Welcome aboard, Karl! 6 hours ago - Comment
Andy is digging that it's cool to drop the "is" in status updates but likes the challenge of compliance. 17 minutes ago - Comment
Andy is now a member of "Fred Thompson for President, 2008." 33 minutes ago - Comment
Andy is feeling like other people's status updates are none of his business and weird to read. 4 minutes ago - Comment
Andy is reconsidering tighty-whities. 35 seconds ago - Comment
Andy is now friends with Glen Campbell and Bongo Video.
Bongo Video posted a comment: You owe us $387.75 in late fees.
Andy is no longer a friend of Bongo Video. 10 minutes ago - Comment
Andy is concerned about the implications of Facebooking with minors. 45 minutes ago - Comment
Andy is now a member of the Watertown High School Sophomore Class.
Andy is now a member of Smash Your Ukulele against a Brick Wall.
Andy is now a fan of Twelve-Point Buck Owens.
Andy is not a fan of the Packers and hates the idea of standing around in your socks in an overcrowded TV room all day on Sundays breathing dry forced-air heat while dripping warm salsa on the carpet and drinking Lite Beer waiting out the never-ending NFL season. 20 seconds ago - Comment
Andy is friendless. 3 hours ago - Comment