Joe Tarr
Katherine Sand and Joshua Gokey
Katherine Sand and Joshua Gokey have been together for 11 years and engaged for about five years.
They were hoping to finally tie the knot this year, but when Sand’s twin sister signed a two-year commitment to the Peace Corps starting in June, serving in Togo, Africa, they realized she wouldn’t be able to attend.
“All my family, most importantly my father, couldn’t be there for the wedding we wanted to do,” says Sands, 32. “We decided we didn’t want to wait for two years to get the ball rolling. We decided a domestic partnership was a great option, so we decided to do that.”
And on Wednesday, they also made a little bit of local history by becoming the first opposite-sex couple to get a domestic partnership in Dane County.
Domestic partnerships were created in Wisconsin in 2009 as a way to give some marriage rights to same-sex couples who wanted to marry, but were at the time legally unable to. After the Supreme Court legalized marriage for everyone last year, the domestic partnership arrangement remained on the books.
Earlier this month, county clerks in Dane County and Milwaukee announced they would start issuing the domestic partnerships to opposite-sex couples, claiming they are bound to administer the rights equally. Conservative groups have asked state Attorney General Brad Schimel to seek an injunction against the clerks.
Dane County Clerk Scott McDonell says the state hasn’t indicated what it will do. “The state might challenge us or they might pass, I don’t know,” he says. “I think the law is pretty obvious on this one.”
Since he was elected to clerk in 2012, McDonell says he’s had occasional requests from opposite-sex couples about domestic partnership.
“A lot of couples opt for marriage when they would have preferred domestic partnership,” he says. “For certain people this is a good fit.”
When Sand and Gokey inquired about it a week ago, McDonell saw an opportunity and asked if they wouldn’t mind allowing the media to interview them after the ceremony, in order to publicize that opposite-sex couples have this opportunity.
Domestic partnership bestows some similar rights to marriage, but not all of them, McDonell says. It does not give tax benefits or parental rights, but it makes inheritance easier and gives couples visitation rights if one person becomes hospitalized.
A domestic partnership can be obtained in a quick trip to the court house, while a marriage is process that takes at least 30 days, McDonell says.
It’s also easier to get out of a domestic partnership than it is to go through a divorce, he adds. “One side can terminate it.”
Gokey and Sand say the domestic partnership has profound meaning for them.
“We brought flowers, she bought a dress,” says Gokey, 38. “Did we need it? I don’t think so. What it means to us is what’s important.”
The couple say they still intend to get married, but can do it at their leisure when the time is right.
“For me, it relieves the stress,” says Gokey. “From here on out, our wedding is about getting the people we love together and enjoying some time with them and not all these legal issues.”