Off the Square: Hey, kids, get off of my lawn!

September 29, 2016

5:00 AM

Comments (6)

Keep your living hell on your side of Blair Street Street, thank you

Well, apparently it's not enough that Isthmus runs ads for developers imposing their own vision on Madison regardless of quality of life and popular opinion. Apparently, this so-called "alternative" weekly has to be a shill for them as well.

Anyone living east of Blair Street knows that it's a joke that to think that the East Isthmus is a giant lawn with occasional houses. I could easily jump to my neighbor's porch if one were to remove the railings--and I'm fine with that. I'm less than fine with shoddily constructed downtown towers that won't be around in 2050, or landlords chasing after the money of Epic employees who likely won't remain in Madison after 2020.

Apparently Isthmus sees no problem with alienating a large portion of its readership east of the Capitol. But it's not just Marquette and Tenney-Lapham residents unhappy with so-called "sustainable development" that allows developers to extract maximum dollars from every square foot. Oh sure, it was a very brilliant idea to add tens of thousands of people and their cars to a mile-wide choke point that serves as one of only two ways to travel between the East and West Sides. Those canyons full of car exhaust from heavy traffic between the tall buildings are very eco-friendly. What happened to the other parts of the sustainable development program such as public transportation? Did anyone stop and consider that maybe busy professionals would rather keep their cars than wrap their busy schedules around buses only running every 30-60 minutes? Who was the genius that thought of developing walkable neighborhoods that are only affordable for people unwilling to part with their BMWs?

Of course, the pages of Isthmus won't say anything about landlords demanding three months upfront rent for $1,000 efficiency apartments. Or the people surfing between motels on the edges of the city because they can't afford such deposits. Isthmus is too hip to consider such trivial things.

If you really like the monstrosity that downtown Madison has become, that's fine, but please keep your towering nightmares on the west side of Blair Street. We didn't ask for them and we still don't want them.

Haven McClure more than 7 years ago

Um

"Anyone living east of Blair Street knows that it's a joke that to think that the East Isthmus is a giant lawn with occasional houses."

Yes, we do realize that... because this is a cartoon written by a local comedian.

Todd Stevens more than 7 years ago

Um

He must not be a very good comedian then. The residential east Isthmus is the densest part of the city outside of the downtown area. Who would benefit from depicting the area as the polar opposite of dense other than the developers hungrily eyeing our neighborhood? I mean, I can laugh about bus stops every block. But beyond that, why would the Isthmus print something so "dense?"

Haven McClure more than 7 years ago

You're right

Absolutely right! I mean this is obviously meant to be completely accurate and not satirical.

I'm even starting to suspect it's not even to scale!

Aaron Tú Prinsesse more than 7 years ago

Where's the beef?

Well it's pretty clearly written by someone with a way oversimplified and strongly biased view of neighborhood politics in Madison. Is that the part that's supposed to be funny? I once heard that a picture is worth a thousand words but it seems to me that this cartoon boils down to one word, an acronym, actually, that's very popular with "Gimme what I want!" developers, "Screw the plan, build it all!" alders, a mayor who pays lip service to the neighborhoods while actually putting his lips... someplace else, and the simple-minded cartoonists who love them.

Some of us do care about this place we call home, and we're not at all happy about what we're seeing. Admittedly, I don't see a lot of humor in that, but then I don't pretend to be a comedian. Though I do find the self-righteousness of the "Build, build, build!" density-loving "environmentalists" who would never, themselves, be caught dead living in, or next to, one of the "TOD" buildings they are so happy to inflict on others, kind of amusing. They are so wrapped up in the hype that they might as well be living in their own virtual reality for the few years they're here before moving on to some other more attractive non-place. So out of touch with those of us who conserve because we can't afford not to and who love Madison for all its' quirks and faults because that's the kind of 24/7 entertainment that doesn't come with mandatory upgrades and monthly connection fees. And who used to read the free weekly religiously before it dropped the movie listings and moved to 8-point type, as if it had print and an iPad thoroughly confused with each other. I guess that's pretty funny, too.

Zoti Bemba more than 7 years ago

Um

You mad?

A.) I absolutely love that you're taking this cartoon literally as a map. Let's assume that the artist had to cut corners a little bit to avoid drawing the entire city of Madison to make his point. Is that any better for you?

B.) There's a thing comedians and others do called "hyperbole," wherein they exaggerate some quality of a thing for comedic effect, or to make a point, etc. For example, when the artist draws a lawn with a few houses to represent an area of the city, we would say he is being "hyperbolic," or when you state that he must not be a very good comedian because you don't find any humor in his little joke, then you too are being "hyperbolic." I, for one, find it funny that you can engage in hyperbole while simultaneously failing to recognize its use elsewhere. Poets, entertainers, and public speakers of all kinds should study you.

Andy more than 7 years ago