Some people can sing beautifully. Think Plácido Domingo. Others sing badly but they're still very cool. Think Bob Dylan. Still others sing badly, but in an endearing and entertaining kind of way.
I sing very badly, but in an embarrassing, oh-please-for-the-love-of-God-make-it-stop kind of way.
My problem is that I'm a sucker for bleeding heart causes of all kinds. So, tonight I'll be "singing" with The Gomers at Stand Up and Sing! For Kids!, a fundraiser for the Dane County Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) at the High Noon Saloon. The pain gets underway at about 7 p.m.
I wouldn't do this to myself (or to you if you show up) if it wasn't for a very good cause. The cause here is kids. Special advocates are adults who volunteer their time to work with judges in the best interests of children who are separated from their families due to domestic violence, drug abuse or other reasons that involve protecting the kids. Busy judges don't have time to really understand each child's needs, so the advocates are there to advise the courts on what should be done in their best interests.
Before I was asked to torture people at this event, I hadn't heard of CASA or the good work they do in our community. After I learned about the group I wanted to write them a check. They will accept the check, but they also wanted me to do this special edition of Gomeroke in the hopes that people would show up and also write them a check just to see me and others embarrass ourselves in public.
I, of course, have been obsessing about what to sing. I've been thinking about a Dylan song, with the idea that nobody can sing a Dylan song worse than Dylan. Or maybe something by Barry Manilow on the theory that people will laugh just because it's a Barry Manilow song and not really pay attention to the fact that he can sing and I can't. I've ruled out anything involving face paint, fog machines or wigs.
So, if you have a free evening come on down to the High Noon around 7 p.m. Support a good cause and hear some "music." I won't be offended if you leave before my set. In fact, I strongly advise it.