The big news reported this week is that Scott Walker will officially have more money than God in the recall election. As a matter of fact, God called Walker this week to see if he could spot Him a couple of bucks, but Walker told the Almighty that he was tapped out what with the attack ads he had to buy and his legal defense fund. In response, God is reportedly considering the smiting of Walker -- a decision is expected on or about June 5.
The legal defense fund did come in for a little questioning from Democratic candidate Tom Barrett. Barrett pointed out that state law only allows a politician to raise money for a legal defense fund if he is actually the subject of a criminal investigation, which Walker says he isn't. Walker responded by saying "ya never know," and that he hoped to be the subject of an investigation someday. Meanwhile, he raised another million dollars.
In national news, Newt Gingrich officially "suspended" his campaign. A few weeks ago, Rick Santorum "suspended" his campaign, and that was after campaign suspensions by Rick Perry, Michelle Bachman, and others. How come nobody just drops out anymore? How come nobody says, "I lost, he won, and I'm going back home to write my memoirs and fade into oblivion"?
Do they expect delegates at the convention to spontaneously march around with signs demanding that Newt, for example, "reactivate" his suspended campaign? Reactivate Newt Now!
In Newt's case, though, he has said that he will reopen his campaign as soon as there are caucuses at the moon colony, where he expects to do fabulously well.
In Madison, this was the week leading up to the annual Mifflin Street Block Party, where thousands of young people get together to share notes and books in a kind of giant final exam jam session. I think beer is sometimes served. UW officials have instructed their students not to go through the effective use of the social medias and the Internets, going so far as to send messages through the emails. It's working really well with students all over campus repeating the mantra "don't go" without so much as the hint of irony.
Turning now to the sports pages, the Milwaukee Brewers are getting off to a slow start. First they lost a pretty good first baseman to free agency, and now they've lost his replacement to a torn ACL. Also, they've decided that only Ryan Braun will hit while the other players will focus on their fielding, and just generally on other neglected parts of their lives. That way, they'll be healthier, more well-rounded human beings, good for when they'll get to spend more time with their families in October.
As for the Packers, they had a widely heralded innovative draft, picking up players who can play defense. General Manager Ted Thompson says that they have enough defensive players now to actually establish an entire defensive team whose job it will be to stop the opposing team's offense from running up and down the field. The idea is that they might be able to win games by scoring less than 52 points. I don't know. Sounds pretty crazy to me, but we'll see how this "defense" thing works out.
Well, that's all I've got for now kids. Have a good weekend.