Kudos to Sen. John Sydney McCain III for winning the Wisconsin primary and wrapping up the nomination of the RINO (Republican in Name Only) Party!
McCain is now free to spend the rest of the spring and summer trying to win over the party's conservative base. Good luck with that.
After getting his butt kicked in Wisconsin, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee fired off an urgent telegram to St. Jude, pleading for "visible and speedy assistance" in all his "necessities, tribulations and sufferings." No word yet on a reply from the Patron Saint of Lost Causes.
Memo to the former Arkansas heavyweight: If you want to maintain future political "viability," get out before you cement your reputation as a spoiler. Like yesterday.
Meanwhile, back on the campaign trail, McCain is banking on national security to be his lucky talisman against St. Obama or Queen Hillary this fall. The "Straight Talk Express" is warning that America could be in Iraq for 100 years and promising "more wars." Wow, 100 years in Iraq and more wars.
This guy needs to change his slogan to the "Happy Warrior."
If the general election comes down to Obama (who'll turn 47 next August) and McCain (who'll be 72 that same month), it would be the largest age differential for respective nominees of the two major parties in American history.
Sort of like American Idol meets Lawrence Welk. You pick the winner.
But McCain's real ace in the hole is hope (yes, Virginia, Republicans have "hope" too). Specifically, the hope that the Democrats will implode.
If Obama emerges from the primary season with the most popular votes and pledged delegates, and Clinton Inc. manages to steal the nomination from him...well, the bloodletting in the Democratic Party will make 1968 in Chicago look like a walk in Grant Park.
Question is, who will deliver the Abe Ribicoff "Gestapo-like tactics in the streets of Denver" speech, with a red-faced, vein-popping Bill Clinton (playing Boss Daley) wagging his finger at the podium from the floor? Great reality TV.
Obama is about to find out that standing between the Clintons and their insatiable lust for power is like standing between Al Sharpton and a live microphone.
Meanwhile, presidential wannabe John McCain waits in the wings.
Rick Berg is a local writer and observer of politics.