Dear Tell All: I’ve been happily married for over a decade. I love my wife, but the heat has definitely gone out of our sexual relationship. It’s a problem I obsessed about until recently, when I started obsessing about a strange situation at work.
In meetings with our team, eight of us sit around a table, usually in the same places every week. I sit next to a woman who’s been in my organization for a half-year. She’s about my age and beautiful, though quiet and a bit standoffish. I’ve never talked to her about her personal life, but she doesn’t wear a wedding ring.
Almost two months ago, her foot bumped against mine under the table in one of these meetings. I didn’t think much about it until the next week, when it happened again. Granted, we’re all packed in pretty close together, but getting a foot bump from her two weeks in a row didn’t seem like an accident. It’s happened a couple more times since then, and one week I made a point of bumping her back.
I have to admit that I find this footsie game titillating, to the point where I can’t keep my mind on business during our meetings. Given the state of my marriage, I’ve been fantasizing about taking things a step further with my beautiful colleague.
Is it wrong to have these thoughts? Would it be wrong to seek the sexual satisfaction I’m missing at home?
Size 11
Dear Size 11: It is not wrong to have those thoughts. If fantasizing about an attractive coworker were a crime, most of us would be in jail.
But having an affair? In my opinion that would be wrong, given that you say you’re happily married and love your wife.
If that’s true, I would focus on your relationship with her. How hard have you tried to rekindle the sexual spark? Judging from your footsie obsession with your coworker, I’d guess the answer is “not very.”
So change seats at your weekly meetings and work on reviving your marriage, Size 11. Acting out a footsie fantasy with your wife might be a good way to start.
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