Dear Tell All: I considered my father “the cool dad” while growing up. He’s a visual artist, a writer and an intellectual who makes his living from his imagination. He always got along well with my friends, almost like he was one of us rather than a boring adult.
Only in the last year or so have I become disillusioned with him in certain ways. Though extremely progressive during my childhood, he’s lately begun to turn more conservative. That’s led to arguments with me and eye-rolling among friends of mine who hear about our disagreements.
An example of something we fight about is the idea of cultural appropriation. Progressives my age take it as a given that those from the dominant population shouldn’t stereotype those from minority populations, nor should they steal their modes of cultural expression. For example, I was appalled by Wes Anderson’s appropriation of Japanese culture in Isle of Dogs. To me, it’s on the same level as blackface minstrelsy or, more recently, the insulting portrayal of Indian-American Apu on The Simpsons.
My dad scoffs when we discuss such subjects. He loves Isle of Dogs and The Simpsons and accuses me of being a censor who wants to limit artists’ expressive possibilities. It’s disappointing in someone I once thoroughly respected.
Is there any way to close this generation gap?
Cis
Dear Cis: You can close the gap, but only if you and your dad make a heroic effort to see where the other is coming from.
Your job is to respect his perspective as a creator. Own up to a censorious streak among progressives and acknowledge how threatening that must feel to an artist like your father. Isle of Dogs is a perfect example. Yes, it draws from Japanese culture, but affectionately and powerfully. Anderson has created an original work of art that blends Japanese and Western elements into something all his own. In this context, carping from self-appointed cultural monitors is bound to annoy your dad. It would be like castigating Vincent Van Gogh or Frank Lloyd Wright for creating timeless art with Japanese influences.
Your dad’s job is to respect your informed perspective and to acknowledge when you have a point. The Simpsons is a perfect example. The stereotypical portrayal of Apu has become outdated, and the objections of Indian-Americans are easy to understand. The series’ creators have been tone-deaf in their refusal to update the character, and your father is also guilty of refusing to change with the times.
In a perfect world, your dad will give a little, you will give a little, and both of you will move past your rigid positions. You may never see him as the “the cool dad” again, but hopefully you can both continue to love and understand one another. That’s the very definition of closing the generation gap.
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