Dear Tell All: I’m a local science teacher who’s been looking for love, and I think I’ve finally found it. My girlfriend works in a Madison restaurant and is everything I’ve ever wanted: kind, witty and sexy. But after being with her for almost two years, I’m finding it harder to ignore a quality I don’t like at all: a sincere belief in the supernatural.
The subject doesn’t come up often, but whenever it does I bite my tongue. She occasionally consults a Ouija board for advice. She has visited mediums for a glimpse of her future. She believes in ghosts and the possibility of communicating with the dead — specifically her dead father. She admires people who supposedly have psychic powers.
As a rationalist, I’ve spent my whole life looking down on people with such fantasies. I truly love my girlfriend, but it makes me sad that she believes in such nonsense.
Then there’s the question of the future. I feel that we’re compatible, but I wonder if our different perspectives on the nature of reality will become a bigger problem if we stay together for the long haul.
Darwin
Dear Darwin: It sounds like a big problem to me, especially because you seem as passionate about your worldview as she is about hers. But you say you two are compatible, so let’s take that as a starting point.
Instead of biting your tongue when your girlfriend talks about supernatural phenomena, how about going into science-teacher mode? Preach physics, biology and empirical evidence, and start an argument if need be. If she’s open to your point of view, maybe you can make a convert. If she pushes back strongly, I’d take that as a blow to your long-term prospects.
Alternately, you could soften your stance toward the supernatural. Is it worth indulging your girlfriend an occasional trip to the medium in exchange for all that kindness, wit and sexiness? I suspect the Ouija board would say yes.
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