Dear Tell All: I’m as liberal as anyone in Madison, whether marching for good causes or donating to social justice organizations. I respect marginalized groups and am clued in to the nuances of white privilege. That’s why I’m annoyed whenever a friend of mine calls me out for imagined violations of political correctness.
This friend is a fellow activist who has appointed herself a sensitivity monitor, telling other white people what they can and can’t say. God forbid I accidentally get a pronoun wrong in her presence — she will make me feel like a stooge of the patriarchy. God forbid I like a book, movie, or TV show that she has deemed politically suspect.
The woman makes me feel like I’m living in Stalinist Russia, fearful of deviating from party orthodoxy as she defines it.
Don’t get me wrong — my friend has a lot of good qualities, and her heart is in the right place. But I’m worried that, by buying into trendy lefty censoriousness, she’s losing her sense of proportion. Not to mention her humanity.
A case in point is her wholehearted support of campus activists who use violence to prevent conservatives from speaking at UW-Madison and other universities around the country. If right-wing groups were using such tactics to shut down liberal speakers, she would rightly label them as fascists. But she has elaborate justifications about why it’s okay for our side to act this way. I believe in peaceful protests, not in suppressing free speech — and she bit my head off when I politely tried to make that argument.
It’s gotten to the point where I avoid discussing anything I care about with her. I’m wondering if this friendship is salvageable.
Walking on Eggshells
Dear Walking: Your friend’s impulse to suppress speech — whether it’s yours or a conservative speaker’s — is not a good sign for your relationship. It’s also not a good sign for American democracy. Tell her that, unless she can engage in a respectful conversation with you, you will peacefully protest any further dealings with her.
If your friend has a shred of humanity left, she’ll realize how monstrously she’s been acting. If not, good riddance. Let her be the left’s problem, not yours.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?
Write Tell All, 100 State St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tell all@isthmus.com
