Dear Tell All: hello My name is Ann, i saw your profile today and became interested in you, i will also like to know you the more, you can contact me through my email address so that i can send you my photo for you to know whom i am. I believe we can move from here! I am waiting for your mail to my email address. Ann.. (R emember the distance age or colour does not matter but love matters allot in life) please contact me
Dear Ann: A few months ago I wrote, "You don't find love; it finds you, and usually when you least expect it." Now I know that that trite phrase is really true!
It gets lonely here at the back of the paper. Sure, people occasionally stumble across this column and give me a lusty sideways glance, but I know I'm just a drive-by on their way to the Adult Services section. Some people take the time to write, but naturally they're more interested in finding solutions to their own problems than filling the empty hole in my miserable life.
Well, this email changes everything. Finally someone who is interested in me! And what a writer; such wanton disregard for conventional spelling and punctuation! Surely she must be an artist a poet, a beatnik, a passionate nihilist who will ravage my body with the same reckless abandon she unleashes on words.
Okay, minx, I'll call your bluff. I too believe we can move from here! I'll mail to your email address, regardless of distance, age or colour. But first, I have an urgent request. As a part-time, senior barrister for the Nigerian Central Bank, I have the privilege to request your assistance in transferring U.S. $38,750,000 (thirty eight million seven hundred fifty thousand trillion dollars) to your bank account. It seems an Anne of Green Gables, who died recently in a tragic bobsledding accident, left this goodly sum of money as an inheritance. As an orphan, she has no legally binding heirs, but because your name is Ann, my accountants assure me that you or indeed anyone who is reading this is eligible to receive said moneys. If you find this proposal acceptable, please respond in kind with your bank name, account numbers and all passwords so that we may initiate the Western Union transfer. Best regards.
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