Dear Tell All: I've been dating a guy for about a half-year and considered him a promising boyfriend. He's been an ardent sexual partner, too, so things were going well in the bedroom. That was a welcome change for me.
But recently he's sprung a surprise that's making me uneasy. He wants to worship my feet.
It started innocently enough, with him asking me to wear pantyhose and my highest-heel shoes on the mattress. But once that got normalized, he began requesting that I pose my feet in various ways, which I won't describe here. Then there were all sorts of things he wants me to do to him with my feet. It's starting to seem perverted to me.
What really put me off is when this little world of make believe threatened to invade our real life. Rather than doing something fun on a recent weekend night, he suggested we go to West Towne so he could watch me try on spike-heeled shoes. I said no to that one. I also said no when he asked if I would dangle my shoe from my toes in a restaurant while he watched.
He immediately backs down when I reject ideas like this. But these uncomfortable interactions are starting to cause tension in our relationship.
I've gone along with some of his requests as a favor to him. But I'm getting grossed out by all this attention to my feet. I'm starting to feel more like a collection of body parts than a person.
Dear Arches: Let me get this straight. Your boyfriend wants to worship you, and you have a problem with that? If you're seriously grossed out by a foot fetish, I can understand backing away from the guy. But have you even entertained the possibility that it might be mutually enjoyable rather than just a favor you're doing for him? Try getting into the "make believe," as you call it. Try having fun with his requests rather than holding your nose. I'd hate to see you break up a promising relationship over a mere spike-heeled shoe.
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