Dear Tell All: I've had a similar experience to Valerie Vanilla, who got embarrassed when her couple friends shared details about their sexual activity ("Enough with the Kinky Sex!," 4/25/2013). But in my case, our married friends actually want my wife and me to join in!
When we'd get together for dinner, the husband (I'll call him George) and the wife (I'll call her Martha) would be openly flirtatious with each other. Over time, that progressed to them smooching and hugging. My wife and I tried to act as if nothing was happening, but these incidents were uncomfortable for us. Still, we liked George and Martha enough to keep seeing them.
One night, as we had dinner at their house, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. They also kept pushing drinks on us while drinking a ton themselves. When we started eating, Martha put her hand on my thigh under the table. I was too flustered to know what to do, so I just awkwardly crossed my legs to sort of shake her off. I could see by my wife's face that something similar was happening between her and George. As soon as we finished dessert, my wife and I jumped up, made an excuse, and got the hell out of there.
How creepy is such behavior? My gut feeling is to end the friendship, but maybe that's an overreaction. I should emphasize that George and Martha are pretty much fun when they're keeping their hands to themselves.
Straight Man
Dear Straight Man: I don't think there's anything wrong with what George and Martha did. They're into foursomes, and that's fine. They wondered if you and your wife were into them, too. One way of finding out would be to ask; another would be to put their hands on your thighs and see what happened.
When you and your wife fled their house, George and Martha had their answer. If they ever accost you again, you'll be justified in thinking them creeps. But if they mind their manners, I don't see why you should end the friendship. You can't blame a guy and a gal for trying.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Write Tell All, 101 King St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com.