Dear Tell All: I want to speak to Straight Man, who went to dinner at a married couple's house with his wife, then found hosts George and Martha interested in group sex ("Foursome, Anyone?," 5/16/2013). George and Martha were at best inconsiderate, not noticing that you felt uncomfortable around them. At worst, they are manipulative predators who were grooming you and your wife. The couple tried to get you and your wife drunk, and in a coordinated way tried to make you violate your wedding vows.
You think George put his hand on your wife's thigh under the table, and you did nothing about it. The couple have already successfully put a wedge between you two. Somehow you thought it was a good idea to ask an advice columnist if it was okay for you and your wife to spend time socially with a man who acted this way without feeling he was doing anything wrong, knowing that the painful incident would be put in the newspaper to be commented on by millions.
At some point, Straight Man, did you recognize that this was a bad idea? If you beg her for forgiveness, she may someday forgive you.
You, Tell All, were guilty of advice-columnist malpractice when you said, "I don't think there is anything wrong with what George and Martha did." You can blame a gal or guy for trying to take advantage of you. Your advice was creepy.
Old Married Guy
Dear Old Married Guy: My advice was creepy only if you think foursomes among consenting adults is creepy. You do; I don't. George and Martha weren't predatory strangers to Straight Man and his wife; they were good friends who wanted to see if group sex was a possibility. Putting a hand on a friend's thigh is one way of testing the waters.
As I said, it's now incumbent on George and Martha to take the hint. Straight Man and his wife fled their house, strongly indicating that the answer is "no." If George and Martha keep their hands to themselves from now on, I maintain that they are guilty of nothing other than lust.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Write Tell All, 101 King St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com.
