Dear Tell All: Late Bloomer's attack on the single men of Madison made me very sad ("A Bachelorette's Complaint," 5/16/2014). She complained that the town is crawling with graduate students, cyclists and gamers, none of whom can fix a martini.
The implication is that a bicycle-riding, Grand Theft Auto-loving grad student is by definition immature. Not true! I fall into all three categories myself. I look fairly debonair when I change out of my biker silks, if I do say so myself. And videogames merely pass the time while I'm searching for my own dream woman.
And get this, Late Bloomer: I can fix a martini. Not only that, but I can do so while chatting about Proust. That's not mature enough for you?
Dear Tell All: The letter from Late Bloomer was brilliant. I, along with so many singletons, feel the same: that the men in Madison leave something to be desired. I work in a salon on the east side and see and hear it all!
After living the married, unmarried, cohabiting and single life in many other places, I can say that it's a different structure of dating and mating here. Madison is indeed its own Bermuda Triangle of uncommitted men and women. Maybe it's the more relaxed lifestyle, or the culture of having to cover every inch of your body in the winter, spring and fall, that makes you a harder catch. But it is trickier here than other places.
Dear Tell All: Sorry, Late Bloomer, but your only choice is online dating. Yes, there are men in Madison who fit your bill, but they are so widely scattered that you would likely only meet them by sheer luck. Tell All must be male and partnered because, though his heart is in the right place, his advice isn't going to help. I promise you'll feel trashy sitting at a bar by yourself, hoping to meet men. They will assume you are looking for a hookup. Also, I'm a nurse and am here to tell you that 99.9% of doctors are already married.
Give OKCupid a try. It's free, and I (finally) met my boyfriend that way. Good luck.
Your Fellow X
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Write Tell All, 101 King St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email firstname.lastname@example.org.