Dear Tell All: I'm hoping you can help my husband and me reach an agreement. Our television died recently, so we've been shopping for a new one. My husband wants the biggest TV possible, so that his football games "will leap off the screen." I, on the other hand, want something small, not some monstrosity that will take over our living room. Plus, I have a hard time justifying spending over $1,000 on what seems like a luxury.
Bickering in Best Buy
Dear Bickering: It's no secret that American men like big things. They like big cars, big televisions and, most of all, big breasts. In fact, their love of big breasts fuels their love of big-screen TVs, because hello: magnified mammaries! Why else would they call it the boob tube?
Nothing makes a man want to whip out the money roll like fantasizing about watching porn on a 100-inch, high-definition TV.
Certainly I'm not suggesting that your husband wants to watch porn on a big-screen TV, because, you know, he's not like that. Nah. He's sweet and sensitive. He watches PBS and Lifetime. Well, you also mentioned that he wants the TV for watching football. So let me put this another way: Nothing makes a man want to stand up for the national anthem like watching NFL cheerleaders on a big-screen TV. I'm just sayin'.
The only way out of your dilemma is compromise. Can you find a happy medium, a size midway between what you want and what your husband wants? Or if cost is really the issue, how about buying something more affordable now, with the idea that you'll consider something larger in a few years when prices come down?
Keep in mind that size is completely relative; it all depends on how close you are to the screen. Try this as an experiment: Plop down on the couch with your husband, your laptop and your favorite DVD. Start up the movie and then hold the laptop at arm's length. See what I mean? Instant drive-in! The screen is ginormous. I tried the same thing with my iPad, moving the screen closer and closer for maximum effect, but it kept bumping into my 3D glasses.
You're right; your husband probably isn't going to buy that argument. Go for the compromise.