Dear Tell All: As a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat, I'm sick about the huge gains the Republicans made on Election Day, especially in Wisconsin. All Democrats are depressed, I know, but with me it goes beyond a general sense of disappointment and dread. Republican majorities actually make it hard for me to have sex.
This has happened before, when George W. Bush won the presidency in 2000 and was reelected in 2004. My husband and I had a satisfying sex life throughout most of the 1990s, but I found myself pulling away from him in the Bush/Cheney years. It's just hard to get in the mood when gay rights, abortion rights, affirmative action, Social Security, health-care access, stem-cell research, etc. come under attack from the right wing.
My husband isn't like me at all. Though a committed liberal himself, he's ready to rock and roll whether Ron Johnson or Russ Feingold is Wisconsin's senator. In other words, we have a problem. Do you have any advice for a suddenly frigid Democrat?
Dear Blue-Blooded: If you support the liberal agenda, I can see why your sex drive has diminished since Nov. 2. But Tell All is here to help.
First, I suggest dimming the lights and pouring yourself a glass of wine - or maybe a shot of whiskey. Okay, make it two shots. And keep the bottle nearby.
Now place a few props in strategic places around your bedroom: a copy of Barack Obama's The Audacity of Hope on the nightstand; a Jon Stewart poster on the wall; a MoveOn.org T-shirt draped over the dresser. Are you feeling anything yet?
If not, Blue-Blooded, you can console yourself with the thought that political power is cyclical. Soon, voters will hate the new Republicans just as much as they hated the old Democrats. I predict your libido will be back in business by 2012.