Dear Tell All: Biggest Idiot wished he'd never told his longtime platonic girlfriend how he felt about her ("Don't Have Sex With a Friend," 3/21/2013). But in fact, he didn't actually tell her. Instead, he had unplanned, drunken sex with her and during the act told her several times that he loved her. That's not the same thing as telling her that he wanted to be involved with her romantically.
Maybe it's just from my perspective as a 73-year-old who doesn't understand the compulsion to start relationships with sex instead of gradually leading up to sex, but I think that if you (both) just want to have sex, then have sex. Just don't use unplanned sex as the initial way to tell a longtime platonic friend that you love her.
Yes, Biggest Idiot has ruined the relationship they had. He's lucky she even speaks to him at all!
Level Head
Dear Level Head: In retrospect, we can all agree that Biggest Idiot didn't do himself any favors by impulsively having sex with a longtime friend he yearned to be involved with. Even Biggest Idiot agrees. But I have more sympathy than you do for a guy who awkwardly went for it when a romantic opportunity presented itself. You know what Shakespeare said: Reason and love often keep little company together.
Dear Tell All: I'd like to respond to 1960s Scout, who believes in the efficacy of the Boy Scouts' "don't ask don't tell" policy regarding gay youth ("The Boy Scouts' Dilemma," 3/28/2013).
I am a 1950s Scout. My best buds in Troop 89 were a Catholic, a Jew and a Southern Baptist. Everyone knew I was an atheist. Nobody cared. The guy we elected as leader of our Explorer post was one of the few mixed-race kids in otherwise milk-white Eau Claire. Nobody thought that was unusual. The issue of being gay never came up at all; all anybody cared about was that we were boys.
Sadly, that's no longer the case.
I'd like to see the organization return to its traditional values, in which Scouting is good for every boy, and every boy is good for Scouting.
1950s Scout
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