Dear Tell All: I’ve been laughing at the distress over a recent report that shows Wisconsin as “the drunkest state.” We supposedly have 12 of the country’s top 20 drunkest cities, with Appleton at number one and Madison at number four.
The findings rely on self-reporting rather than a statistically sound methodology. What the hand-wringing media fail to notice is that down-to-earth Wisconsinites are simply more honest about their drinking than people in other states. I’d be surprised if liquor is really more popular here than in other places, because everybody, everywhere, likes to drink.
So what’s going on? You guessed it: This is merely another assault by the Fun Police, trying to stop people from having a good time. Puritans, as we know, always hate self-gratification. I’ll be sure to raise a toast to them the next time I go out drinking in Madison or Appleton — two of the happiest cities in the country’s happiest state.
Chuggy
Dear Chuggy: You are ignoring statistically sound data that paint a less jolly picture of your beloved Wisconsin drinkers. According to the state’s own figures, alcohol-related vehicle crashes cost Wisconsin over $450 million in 2012. Binge drinking cost us over $6 billion. That same year, binge drinking caused 1,748 deaths. Wisconsin had the highest rate of binge drinking in the country in 2011 and 2012. We’d dropped to second in the country in 2013 — hardly a reason for one of your cute toasts.
Sorry, Chuggy, but it’s not healthy to laugh off Wisconsin’s drinking problem. Lord knows I’m not a member of the Fun Police, but I can imagine ways to have fun that don’t involve passing out in the driver’s seat and killing someone.
I’m not saying that’s what you or most Wisconsinites will do after a night at the bar. But by scoffing at the latest disturbing report, you are minimizing a serious issue in our state. Maybe it’s time for a little less self-gratification and a little more self-reflection.
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