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Hospitals are scary. Hospitals in Madison are petrifying. The incident at St. Mary'sin summer of 2006 took all the fun out of the phrase "naughty nurses." And the suicidal gunman parading around the UW hospital last fall was more unsettling than bedpans. No one ever dreams about going to the hospital unless babies or boobs are the outcome. more

Dec 20, 2007 6:08 PM Scenes

Money, it's a drag. So is tryptophan, but on a whole different level. When it comes down to it, traveling is expensive. And when it comes to sailing the skies around Turkey Day, this fact is inflated like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon. When I looked into going home back east, ticket prices were jacked up more than $200 over the normal price. more

Nov 20, 2007 4:42 PM Scenes

Belleville has the makings of the perfect podunk town, and I mean that in the kindest way. It is a quaint place set on a pretty lake, its main street nestled next to the water and lined with old-timey buildings. People mingle in front of shops like one big family; hands wave to the neighbor, who is most likely the cousin of a good friend, whose daughter's elementary school teacher is your mom. more

Oct 30, 2007 7:34 PM Scenes

The other day, on my way to Urban Outfitters to steal home decorating ideas, I was distracted from my mission by the swankest storefront on the 100 block of State Street. I became really excited for a hot minute. Had some interior designer read my mind and perfectly decked out my dream pad? Then I glimpsed the placard: The Psychic Gallery. more

Oct 18, 2007 8:16 PM Scenes

If I were to go to a quilt show, would I find older ladies there getting rowdy? Or are these theoretically boring activities the damnation some folks subject themselves to in repentance for the hedonistic ways of their youth? I went to the Quilts in Bloom: Fall Quilt and Flower Show at Olbrich Botanical Gardens to find out. more

Sep 24, 2007 6:17 PM Scenes

It's September, and already autumn is spitting game in Madison. Schools have captured all the children. Coats have captured all our tans. Night has captured our voices swearing at the thermostat. The elements might try to scare me from havin' fun outside, but guess what, fall? You can't hold me. I went apple picking, punk! more

Sep 19, 2007 4:12 PM FOOD & DRINK

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John Menn

Ever since I got to this state I've been drowned in beer culture. I never really drank that much before, aside from copious amounts of Mountain Dew in high school. But tasty local microbrews like New Glarus and insanely cheap drink specials -- $1.50 beers at Brothers on Tuesday!? -- make it hard to deny the golden glow of liquid courage. more

Sep 7, 2007 4:44 PM Scenes

I go through all this trouble because there is the possibility that some trash collector is going to rummage through my garbage, find a nugget of badness, and fine me. I do this out of the goodness of my heart and wallet. more

Aug 22, 2007 5:39 PM Scenes

Last week, I found a flyer on my porch from the City of Madison entitled "All Right You Kids Knock It Off!" It explained, "Every August you students move out of your apartments and leave behind a huge mess. What would your mother say if she saw all that trash piled up on the street?" It even had the cutest, frowning clip-art man you ever did see. more

Aug 15, 2007 7:28 PM Opinion

There are going to be couches -- couches! -- on the sidewalk blocking pedestrians. People might actually break bones lifting heavy object up cumbersome stairways. The stores will sell out of Scrubbing Bubbles and 409. The days leading up to moving day might even turn average Joes and Janes into freegans! more

Aug 8, 2007 5:13 PM Scenes

Many months ago, there was a warning on the local television news about a rapist who attacked a woman at 5:30 a.m. Wearing only a T-shirt and jeans in wintertime weather, the man came into her home and brutally attacked her. more

Aug 2, 2007 4:38 PM News

Going out in public is fabulously weird. On a recent trip to Henry Vilas Zoo, as I passed by a black swan I overheard a father agree with his son, "Yes, birds are very tasty." Somehow this didn't seem like a zoo-friendly observation, but the truth is the truth: Birds are tasty. And this fowl comment did make an important point -- the kid made a real connection between animals and his surroundings. more

Jul 19, 2007 6:45 PM Scenes

Driving long distances in Wisconsin can be hazardous to your stomach -- and your mind. When eateries are few and far between on long stretches of highway, the gurgling sounds from the gut summon obscene thoughts! How to roast the cow in the field or sauté the hairy dude in the passenger seat become hallucinations in times of hunger. more

Jul 11, 2007 5:08 PM FOOD & DRINK

I've been categorized as many things in my life: Incense burning hippie; indie rock; anti-hipster hipster; total bitch. I took it to a whole new extreme on Sunday as a canoeing enthusiast. more

Jun 27, 2007 5:41 PM A & E

A few weekends ago I was convinced to attend a Madison Mallards game on Star Wars Night. While I've never had any interest in sports, my love for kitsch reeled me in. more

Jun 21, 2007 5:21 PM Sports

My companions and I first entered the deciduous forest by Indian Mounds and Wingra Woods, dotted with brush, leaves and trees uprooted from deep within the soil. What creature came in and pushed over these verdant kings? more

Jun 13, 2007 4:39 PM Scenes

The Vilas neighborhood just north of Lake Wingra was flooded with wide-eyed and nosy souls checking out the open houses at the Alternative Parade of homes hosted by Historic Madison, Inc on Sunday. A brief description of each of the eleven homes on display follows below. more

Jun 5, 2007 10:21 PM Scenes

Giving strangers money to enter their homes usually supplies the entrant with a red or blue plastic cup and the opportunity to catch an STD. The Alternative Parade of Homes organized by Historic Madison Inc. provides a chance to walk through historical residences without heavy bass or stumbling drunkards distracting from the beauty of a cantilevered arch. more

Jun 4, 2007 5:43 PM Scenes

Late last summer, my beloved grandparents came to Madison just in time for the Nazi rally on the Square. "I've nevah been to a Nazi rally!" my Jewish, roller-skating grandma exclaimed. "Tony! Take a pictsha!" she said to my immigrant Catholic grandfather. more

May 31, 2007 7:15 PM FOOD & DRINK 1 Comments

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Laundry101

The movie "Secretary" became my favorite as soon as it came out, and one of my favorite settings is the combination laundromat/restaurant where Maggie Gyllenhaal's character is romanced. I'd love it too if I was wooed over a cheeseburger while folding my whites. more

May 17, 2007 9:32 PM Scenes