StageQ Auditions

media release: StageQ Inc. will be holding auditions for "The Secretaries" written by the Five Lesbian Brothers and directed by Beck Keller. Performances will be at The Bartell Theatre, from November 3 through November 18, 2023.

Dates and Times

Auditions will be held September 13 and 14 from 7pm-10pm at The Bartell Theatre on 113 E Mifflin, Madison, WI 53703.

Roles

Susan Curtis: office manager/cult leader Susan is beautiful and powerful. She’s a calm, poised, confident maniac. She controls the other women in the office, who all want to be her and be with her.

Patty Johnson: the new girl Patty is the new secretary and wants to fit in. She is good at everything she does. She has a “sweet” exterior but an inner rage and propensity for violence.

Ashley Elizabeth Fratangelo: Susan’s sycophant, bulimic Ashley is a suck up who needs Susan’s admiration and praise. She’s jealous of Patty and fears being replaced as Susan’s favorite.

Dawn Midnight: office lesbian Dawn is a bit of a jokester. She teases Ashley and has the hots for Patty.

Peaches Martin: sweet, clueless, slow-moving target. Peaches is a bit ditzy and always hungry (these ladies live on only SlimFast!) She’s quick to give a compliment, slow at everything else.

Buzz Benikee: sensitive lumberjack, Patty’s secret boyfriend

Hank and Sandy: Sexually harassing lumberjacks, not the sharpest tools in the shed Actors playing Hank and Sandy will also double as puppeteers.

Mr. Ron Kembunkscher: the boss, a jerk.

Audition Info

At auditions, you will be offered a few monologues from the play to choose from. We will then be calling in pairs or groups to cold read scenes. You are also welcome to perform a prepared monologue, as long as you’re open to collaboration and fun!  Please note, all roles in this production are considered non-equity, volunteer only. For accessibility purposes, if you are interested in submitting a virtual audition, please email viceroybunk@gmail.com with a video of yourself performing a powerful under-two-minute monologue. Please include contact information, rehearsal availability, and anything you think we should know.

COVID Safety

StageQ currently follows the CDC Community Transmission Levels and uses them as a guide for masking. As long as Dane County is in the green/low level, masking will be optional at all auditions and rehearsals. If levels rise to medium or higher, masking will be required by cast and crew. The StageQ Board of Directors will monitor these levels and adjust audience masking requirements as necessary.

Vaccination status will not be a factor in being allowed to audition; however, participation in this production may require you to disclose your vaccination status to the producer and director. StageQ prefers and highly encourages those wishing to participate in productions to receive the COVID-19 vaccine if eligible and able to be vaccinated.

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About The Secretaries:

Patty is thrilled to join the secretarial pool at the Cooney Lumber Mill, but she soon begins to feel that all is not right—the enforced diet of Slim-Fast shakes, the strange clicking language between the girls, the monthly disappearance of a lumberjack. By the time Patty discovers murder is part of these office killers’ skill set, it’s too late to turn back! In the guise of satiric exploitation-horror, The Secretaries takes an unflinching look at the warping cultural expectations of femininity.​

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Rehearsal Dates and Location

Rehearsals begin September 24th and will generally run Sunday - Thursday 6-10pm. Exact times and schedule will be determined based on cast availability. Rehearsal location will be First Congregational Church (1609 University Ave, Madison, WI 53726).

Visit stageq.org for more information or RSVP on our Facebook page.