Joe Tarr
Fans of mealworms call them “land shrimp.” Here they are used in a faux “crab cake.”
Chef Dave Heide says that when you think about it, pretty much everything we eat is gross.
“Mushrooms — that’s a fungus that grows on shit. That’s pretty gross, man,” Heide says. “Honey is the vomit that bees have after getting nectared on. Anything is gross when you really think about it.
“If I asked you about the muscle on a spinal column of a cow, you’d think it was gross,” he adds. “But if I say, ‘hey you want some filet mignon?’ you’d think it was great.”
He has a point, although what he’s cooking this evening — what I’m here to eat — would make most Americans cringe: bugs.
Heide has prepared a taco bar with the typical assortment of toppings and garnishes. Only, the proteins for this dish are toasted crickets and “chorizo” grubs.
As he warms the grubs up on the stove at UW-Madison’s Babcock Hall food lab, Heide explains that he cooked them just like his “regular” chorizo, with shallots, leeks, butter, oil, paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, cumin and white wine. Because the grubs came in the mail dehydrated, he “let them sit and soak for two hours, otherwise they’re going to be crunchy.”
He’s also serving mealworm “crab cakes,” swapping out the crab with mealworms.
Heide, who runs Liliana’s in Fitchburg and Charlie’s on Main in Oregon, has gotten some teasing from other local chefs about being the bug guy. But this is actually only his second time serving bugs to the public — and he has no plans of putting them on his restaurants’ menus.
When he first cooked with bugs three years ago for a Children’s Museum event, he searched Google to learn how. “It’s not like you can ask other chefs’ opinions in town, you just kind of wing it.”
At the Children’s Museum event, Heide hid the insects by pureeing them. For today’s Winner, Winner, Insect Dinner sponsored by WUD Cuisine, he’s left them whole. “I’m kind of showing them off, because people signed up for it.”
I did sign up for it, but I’m not starving for this meal. I don’t consider eating animals immoral, but I’ve been a vegetarian for about 25 years.
About 20 people are here for the dinner and before we feast, Valerie Stull, who did her doctoral dissertation on edible insects, gives us a presentation about why more people should eat bugs.
She first tried ants as a teenager on a family trip to Costa Rica. “I was really grossed out by the idea of putting that in my mouth, but when I did, it just tasted like food,” Stull tells us. “It really changed my whole perspective of what is food and why do we think some foods are acceptable and other foods aren’t acceptable.”
She lists the many reasons that people should eat “mini-livestock” — they’re nutrient-dense, high-fiber food that require minimal resources to farm and produce much less greenhouse gas.
Bugs are also much easier to farm and can be done in small spaces, providing income to poor families. Insects have been a source of food for all of human history and about 2 billion people in 130 countries regularly eat them.
Although the world would clearly be a better place if more people ate bugs, Americans just can’t seem to get over the ick factor.
But what do they actually taste like? I try not to think about what I’m going to eat as I spread grub chorizo onto a tortilla — about four grubs. On top, I liberally sprinkle veggies, cheese and sauces. And I add a few dried crickets, which Heide tells me “taste like crunchy pecans or crunchy popcorn.” He’s not wrong.
The flavor of this bug taco is good. The texture is what grosses me out. Too chewy. I stand in the kitchen with the others, trying to act nonchalant as I munch. Everyone else is excited by how great the meal is. I feel parched and a little flushed.
I scarf the taco down as fast as I can and gulp some water. I can’t bear to try one of the “crab cakes,” which are sauteed in olive oil. The sinewy mealworms look like they’re squirming out of the cakes.
Dessert is the most palatable: crickets in a ganache of chocolate, cream, butter, cayenne and salt. It’s the easiest course to digest because it’s easier to forget about what I’m eating. In this way, I’m sad to discover that I am more American than I care to admit.
Bug species consumed by humans: 1,900
Liters of water needed to produce 1 kilogram of beef: 22,000
Liters to produce a kilogram of pork: 3,500
Liters needed to produce a kilogram of crickets: less than 1
Percentage of protein in dried beef: 31
Percentage in dried crickets: 66
Editor's note: This article was updated to include the name of the event's sponsor, WUD Cuisine.
