Wayne LaPierre, the head of the National Rifle Association, made even more sense than ever this week when he declared, "Hurricanes. Tornadoes. Riots. Terrorists. Gangs. Lone criminals. These are perils we are sure to face -- not just maybe. "
"Tens of millions of Americans are already preparing to stand and fight to protect their families and homes," LaPierre continued, but the threats are growing "during the second Obama term."
I never thought about it that way. How many tornadoes have needlessly ravaged towns in the Midwest because too many people were unarmed? Tornado season is just around the corner. Say a twister is bearing down on your neighborhood. No problem. Pull out your AR-15 -- I think you'll need the extra fire power for this one -- and point it in the direction of the black cloud. Watch it head over to the neighborhood next door. Lives and property saved, or at least yours.
And Super Storm Sandy? LaPierre made a convincing case that it hit the East Coast precisely because of all the gun-hating liberals there. Let that be a lesson to them. Next time, properly armed to the teeth, all they have to do is watch the Weather Channel, and then aim their weapons in the general direction of the storm. Watch the meteorologists explain that the storm path has been diverted out to sea thanks to a well-regulated militia. Disaster avoided thanks to the Second Amendment!
And gangs. The answer isn't as complex or expensive as we thought. No need to spend billions and wait decades to correct the broken schools, dysfunctional families and lack of jobs that breed gang activity. No sir! You see a gang member walking down the street (and let's face it, you can tell who they are) and you just pull out your Glock and take care of business. No questions asked.
La Pierre's view of the world is a type of The Omega Man place where lone, heavily armed men rush through the bombed out streets to escape from or kill zombie-like creatures. It's a beautiful vision for America. Thank you Wayne.
That's all I've got for now. Have a good weekend, kids.