Dear Tell All: I have to get something off my chest about a guy in the Madison community who’s led a charmed life, despite a lack of talent.
This man is a friend of mine, but also a rival. I don’t want to reveal what kind of work we do to keep our identities a secret. All I’ll say is that we started around the same time and often crossed paths in the business world. Since then, he’s become a loved and respected figure with a national reputation, while my career has stalled on a lower level.
The maddening thing is, it has nothing to do with skills. You’ll have to take my word for this, but my rival is terrible at his job. I’ve seen his presentations, and they’re sloppy and almost completely without value. And yet he puts them over thanks to a big ego and a flair for bullshitting.
By contrast, my own work is carefully researched and creative. It’s true that I’m no match for my rival in terms of charisma — he’s an extrovert and I’m an introvert — but why should that matter so much? His worthless ideas have brought him wealth and fame, while my innovative ones have brought me very little.
I’ve never aired these grievances to anybody besides my wife, because they’d think I’m crazy. People in the field love my rival and take his greatness as a given. Why can’t they see through this faker?
Passed Over
Dear Passed Over: I understand your frustration. When folks note that “life isn’t fair,” this is exactly what they’re talking about.
That said, I disagree with your comment about your rival having a lack of talent. He has talent for selling himself, so give him credit for that. The good news is, the skill can be cultivated — and I’d urge you to get right to work.
Your rival had a head start because he’s an extrovert. With your introverted personality, learning to engage people and communicate the importance of your ideas will take more effort. But from what I see in your letter, you’ve got no lack of diligence and drive.
So stop complaining to your wife, Passed Over, and start applying yourself to this new challenge. Even if it doesn’t bring you wealth and fame, it might lead to something even more important: self-respect and serenity.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?
Write Tell All, 100 State St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tell all@isthmus.com.