Dear Tell All: I’ve lived in Madison since the 1990s. I love the down-to-earth people, the progressive politics, and the lovely traditions. But this winter feels like the last straw.
I’m fed up with the 40-below wind chills that render my polar-grade coat, gloves and hat useless.
I’m fed up with back pain from shoveling snow.
I’m fed up with the need to find alternative accommodations for my kids during school closings.
I’m fed up with my car sliding backwards as I drive up the hill to my house.
I’m fed up with scraping ice off the inside of the windshield.
I’m fed up with extreme winter conditions being the only topic of conversation from November through March.
I’m looking at real estate in Florida and am serious about moving there unless someone talks me out of it. Do you even dare try, given the horrors of the current winter?
Frozen Solid
Dear Frozen Solid: I love a good challenge, but this one is way too easy. By the time I’m finished, you’ll be hugging a snowman and begging to stay put in Madison.
Here are three reasons to throw away your Florida real estate brochures, based on what you’ve told us about yourself:
- As a progressive, do you think you’ll enjoy Florida’s wacky politics? After all, it’s the state that gave us hanging chads. Plus, you’re proposing to leave Wisconsin just as we’ve ejected arch-conservative Gov. Scott Walker for liberal Tony Evers. Don’t you want to savor that victory for at least the next four years?
- If you like Madison’s down-to-earth vibe, how will you feel in the vicinity of Florida’s Palm Beach and other playgrounds of the rich? How will you like the never-ending influx of obnoxious tourists to Orlando and partying college kids to Daytona Beach? And here are four syllables guaranteed to make your blood run cold: Mar-a-Lago.
- Scraping ice off your windshield will seem like a minor hassle compared to dealing with hurricanes. And alligator attacks. And riptides. And killer bees. And heat exhaustion. And sinkholes. And shark bites.
You’ve put up with Madison winters since the 1990s, Frozen Solid, and you already know you can take it, albeit reluctantly. So don’t do anything rash during the worst time of year. I suggest holding off until June, when you’re enjoying what you call the “lovely traditions”— say, a Babcock Hall ice cream cone on the Memorial Union Terrace after a morning at the Farmers’ Market. As your toes dangle in Lake Mendota, and you take a sip of Spotted Cow, then you can ask yourself how badly you want to move to Florida.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?
Write Tell All, 100 State St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tell all@isthmus.com.
