Dear Tell All: My boyfriend and I recently got engaged, with a 2017 wedding planned. We have a good sex life, though I’m starting to worry that he’s overly fixated on my breasts.
In the early stages of our relationship, I was flattered by his lavish attention to my chest. He always complimented me on my curves, and that encouraged me to wear form-fitting blouses or dresses. In bed he was clearly turned on by my figure, and that turned me on, too.
Now that we’ve been together almost three years, however, his obsession is losing its charm. I’m finding it tiresome that our sexual encounters are all about my breasts to the exclusion of everything else. He always insists that I wear the push-up bras and tight tops he buys for me, to the point where I feel like a pneumatic sex toy rather than a person.
As we head toward married life, I’d love to start developing a physical relationship that feels truly loving rather than just lustfully centered on one body part. But I’m worried that, in the absence of a push-up bra, he’ll lose interest in me. And God knows what will happen as we get older and my breasts go the way of all flesh.
I’m concerned about broaching this sensitive topic before the wedding. What would you advise?
Gifted
Dear Gifted: You’ve experienced good sex with your fiancé, and that’s a good sign. You two can salvage your physical relationship, but it will take courage on your part and compromise on his.
You need to conquer your fear and confront him with your concerns. Better to do it now than to find yourself trapped in an unsatisfying marriage.
He needs to listen closely and take steps to make sure you feel as happy in bed as he does. There’s no reason he can’t keep enjoying your breasts while also being sensitive to your needs. As an ancient sex expert once said: Moderation in all things.
If your fiancé proves unwilling or unable to change his behavior, it’s time to pack up your push-up bras, cancel the wedding, and find someone who can look into your eyes as well as down your shirt.
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