Dear Tell All: My daughter is applying to colleges this fall and is struggling with the application essays. It’s not that she’s a bad writer — it’s that she has so little time to work on them. On top of applying to a dozen schools, she has to keep up her grades in AP classes, train with the swim team, practice for a piano recital, etc.
Writing multiple essays for multiple applications is the straw that will break the camel’s back. She’s made a few stabs at it but doesn’t have the energy to do a good job, or even to finish a single essay. I want her to get into a good college and am toying with the idea of writing the application essays for her.
I know how bad that sounds, but as I think through it, I can’t come up with a good reason not to help out. This is my train of thought: 1) It’s not like she doesn’t deserve to get into a top-ranked college, given how hard she’s worked and how much she’s accomplished. 2) In the grand scheme of things — including my daughter’s entire future — who cares about the essays and which person writes them? They’re a technicality. 3) Other parents are surely doing this for their kids, so why should my daughter have a competitive disadvantage?
Practical
Dear Practical: It’s hard to refute that logic, except with one counterpoint. Your sleazy behavior will make it more likely that your daughter becomes a sleazy adult. There’s a name for what you’re proposing to do: cheating.
I’m glad to hear your daughter has worked hard to get into a good college. But, of course, being worthy of admission involves writing the essays. Calling them “a technicality” is simply a way of justifying your unethical approach. Other applicants are just as busy as your daughter, but I assume many of them find a way to squeeze in the work or to cut back on other activities to make time. Accomplishing the task builds character; letting someone else accomplish it creates a habit of cutting corners. And Lord knows we don’t want more corner-cutters emerging from our elite colleges.
Your final point — “other parents do it” — is the most objectionable of all. When your daughter was young, you surely told her something along the lines of: “Just because Johnny jumped off a bridge doesn’t mean you should jump off a bridge.” It’s time for you to heed that age-old parental advice.
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