Dear Tell All: My father is a Republican who lives in a gated community on a golf course in Florida. I am a liberal who lives in cooperative housing in Madison. I dread the moment in our weekly phone calls when he inevitably harangues me about politics.
It’s always national politics, because he doesn’t follow what’s going on in Wisconsin. We’d never talked much about Gov. Scott Walker, for example, even at the height of the Act 10 protests. But now that Walker is running for president and regularly showing up in national news, my father suddenly has an opinion on him. And it’s absolutely infuriating.
I try not to take the bait and argue with him, because the few times I’ve done that have led to screaming matches. But it’s getting harder to keep my mouth shut. After the recent Republican debate on Fox News, he informed me that Walker had done a great job, with smart answers and a presidential stature.
Smart answers?! Presidential stature?! Those of us who’ve been living in Walker’s Wisconsin could see right through that phony performance. He memorized a few talking points and repeated them like an automaton, barely referencing the actual questions he was asked. Even with a script, he couldn’t stay within the bounds of English grammar — just try diagramming one of those incoherent sentences.
While most of the other candidates proved able to engage with the moderators and each other, Walker clearly lacked the mental capacity to do so. He shrunk from the rhetorical back-and-forth and couldn’t even fill up the allotted 60 seconds during his answers.
Plus, how chilling were those answers? He’s ready to abandon diplomacy, wage war, and make abortion illegal in all circumstances, even when the mother’s life is in danger. Then there was his reference to “the blood of Christ” — a phrase that, used in a political context, is more worthy of a theocrat than an American president.
I’m saying all this to you, Tell All, because I didn’t say it to my father. But keeping it bottled up inside is making me crazy, along with making me feel like a coward. Should I just let loose during our next phone call and have the knock-down-drag-out argument he clearly wants?
Polite Son
Dear Polite Son: You’re down on yourself for avoiding an argument with your father, but I respect your restraint. I’m all for vigorous political debate, but not in the context of a fraught father-son relationship where there’s nothing to be gained from arguing. He’s not going to convince you that Walker is the real deal, and you’re not going to convince him that Walker is a poser. Engaging him will just lead to bad feelings on both sides, and who needs that once a week?
No, Polite Son, you’re doing the right thing. The problem is, your father isn’t. He’s being disrespectful by subjecting you to his political rants while you spare him from yours. During your next call, show him how to act classy in a situation like this. Tell him: “Dad, we clearly don’t agree on political matters, so why don’t we avoid the subject so as not to cause unpleasantness between us?”
It’s sad when a child has to show a parent how to take the high road. But your dad needs a role model, Polite Son, and unfortunately the job falls to you.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?
Write Tell All, 100 State St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com.