Dear Tell All: I’m in the first month of a new job and am totally blowing it. I’ve had one awkward encounter after another with my co-workers, and I fear they’re starting to think of me as “weird.” I’m not weird — just ask people at my old workplace, where I made many friends and fit in well for over five years. But the new workplace is a different sort of environment, and I can’t seem to master it.
One difference is the size. My old employer was a mom-and-pop operation with only a few dozen employees, whereas the new one has about 200 people. With so many strange faces, I can’t remember who I’ve met and who I haven’t, which makes for uncomfortable encounters in the hallways and the breakroom. I keep introducing myself to people I’ve already met, which is deeply embarrassing. After a few such mistakes, I’ve stopped introducing myself altogether — which surely makes me seem unfriendly to the people I haven’t met yet.
Another problem is remembering anything my new co-workers have told me about their personal lives. I’m so focused on learning the new job that I don’t have space in my head for who has kids, who likes Badger basketball, or who’s just gotten engaged. As a result, I’ve already put my foot in my mouth several times in just a few weeks.
How can I stop being “weird” in this new job?
Actually a Regular Person
Dear Regular Person: Step one is to tamp down the paranoia. After only a month, I doubt your 200 co-workers have already pegged you as “weird.” In fact, I doubt many of them have even registered your presence. So you still have plenty of time to make a good impression.
Given your anxiety over remembering whom you’ve met and what they’ve told you, I suggest developing a system. If your brain is overwhelmed by stimulus in the new workplace, start keeping a log of your encounters. After each one, write down the person’s name, what he or she looks like, and what he or she said. It sounds dorky — okay, it is dorky — but what you need are practical solutions. Trust me, Regular Person, this one will work.
If possible, enlist a mentor: a friendly co-worker who can help you navigate the new terrain. Most of your fellow Regular People would be happy to fill that function for a few months.
And speaking of “a few months,” keep in mind that time is on your side. Like everybody else in your workplace, you will figure things out eventually. I predict that, by summer, you’ll be volunteering to serve as a mentor to the next new hire.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?
Write Tell All, 100 State St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com.
