Dear Tell All: I hang out with a group of guys who are always looking to hook up. None of us had a recent relationship that lasted more than six months — until I met an amazing woman last year. Emma (not her real name) is beautiful, smart, funny, accomplished and great in bed. She may well be The One for Me. She has only one flaw: a really weird laugh.
I know that sounds negligible in light of all her good qualities. But you’d have to hear the laugh. It’s about five times louder than a normal laugh: a combination of the Wicked Witch of the West and a jungle animal. In fact, my friends have taken her to calling her “The Hyena.” They don’t say it to her face, but they’re not shy about using the nickname when I’m around.
This puts me in an awkward position. I don’t want to sound defensive by arguing with my friends on Emma’s behalf. And, honestly, I agree with them that her laugh is super strange. When they use the nickname, I usually just smirk and try to change the subject.
Should I tell them to knock it off? Should I tell Emma she’s making a bad impression? Or should I just keep living with the laugh and shrugging off my friends’ derision? I’m worried that any move I make might spoil either my longtime friendships or my promising relationship.
Mirthless
Dear Mirthless: The choice is clear: Tell your friends to knock it off.
Their behavior is immature and idiotic. Even worse, it’s disrespectful to you and the woman you’ve chosen to be with. If they’re worthy of the name “friends,” they will apologize profusely when you confront them. If they don’t, it’s time to downgrade them to “former friends” and find a better class of guys to hang out with.
I’m not letting you off the hook either, Mirthless. You have not distinguished yourself by feeling ashamed of Emma’s laugh. It’s time to grow up and focus on what really matters: her character.
If you love her, and she loves you, it won’t matter what your friends say. They’ll continue with their meaningless hookups, and you’ll have the last laugh.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?
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