Dear Tell All: I have a raging crush on a new coworker. She is beautiful. She is smart. She has an extroverted personality compared to my introverted one. She seems so far out of my league that I’ve barely spoken to her, even though she is single from what I can tell.
I admit that I know a lot more about her than I should. We’re not connected on social media, but I check her accounts — a lot. I know she moved to Madison in the early 2010s. I know she likes going out to eat at Sardine and the El Dorado Grill. I know she obsessively watches “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.”
Most shamefully, I know what she looked like at all phases of her life. I’ve scrolled through her Facebook and Instagram photos more times than I care to admit. She was a cute basketball player in middle school and a gorgeous date for some lucky hunk at her high school prom.
I already felt like a stalker, but then the unthinkable happened: I pressed my thumb in the wrong place and accidentally liked a photo of her as Maria in a teenage production of The Sound of Music. I panicked at the thought of her getting a notification and realizing that I’d been ogling a decade-old image of her.
I’m dreading the next time I pass her in the hall. Do I say something? Do I pretend like nothing happened? Or do I quickly give notice and find another job?
Shyly Infatuated
Dear Shyly Infatuated: You’re looking at this in the wrong way. You don’t have a problem — you have an opportunity.
As an introvert, you would have been content to adore your coworker from afar. Now you have a chance to engage with her. The next time you pass her in the hall, start whistling the theme from The Sound of Music. Start a conversation about Julie Andrews. Share fascinating tidbits about the real Maria von Trapp.
Most importantly, own the fact that you saw and liked her photo. There’s no shame in admitting that you’re intrigued by a person and that you checked her public social media accounts. Hopefully she’ll be flattered by your interest. It’s called courtship.
If she’s not flattered, of course, you’ll need to back off. But at least you can tell yourself you had the courage to connect and communicate with your crush. As longtime readers know, connection and communication are a few of my favorite things.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?
Write Tell All, 100 State St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tell all@isthmus.com.
