Dear Tell All: A guy I know is getting under my skin. I used to like him as a friend, but that was before he dove head-first into the social media cesspool. He's one of these Madison types who have to broadcast every thought to the world, and I never realized how ugly those thoughts were until I started seeing them every few minutes on Facebook and Twitter.
His basic attitude is hipper-than-thou. He listens to the coolest bands, watches the coolest movies and dabbles in the coolest new technology, at least the way he tells it. For him, it's a badge of honor to get into things that few other people can tolerate, like dissonant music or obscure foreign films. If he was really passionate about that stuff, more power to him, but it's clear he only cares about it because it makes him feel superior to everybody else.
This guy's tone on social media is pure nastiness. He sneers at anyone who isn't up on the latest in technology. He gets into flame wars on Twitter on every trending topic. He can't let a Facebook post go uncommented on, and he usually takes the exchange in a negative direction.
I could unfriend and unfollow him, I guess, but that seems like an extreme gesture given our relationship. So what are my options?
:(
Dear :(: Your friend is a familiar social media type. People like him obviously existed before Facebook and Twitter, but back then there was a simple solution: physical distance. If you weren't in the same room with him, you didn't have to listen to his nasty comments. Now they're constantly streaming past your eyes.
As for your options, I'd recommend disengagement. That's different from unfriending or unfollowing because it happens in your head rather than on your computer or your phone. Stop stewing about his tweets and Facebook posts. Focus elsewhere, on things that make you happy. It takes mental discipline, and you have to work at it.
Life is full of negative people, but they can only get under your skin if you let them.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Write Tell All, 101 King St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com.
