Dear Tell All: Back in the '90s, I read a book called Dreams of Bill, in which a number of women shared their erotic fantasies about President Clinton. Now, with another hunk in the White House, I feel like the public sector is about to become sexy again. Are there any dreamboats in Madison-area politics?
Poll Watcher
Poll Watcher: Are you implying that the last eight years weren't sexy? What about Vice President Dick Cheney in his form-fitting quail-hunter's outfit?
Okay, maybe you have a point.
In terms of hot local politicians, Mayor Dave Cieslewicz gets my vote. He may have a peculiarly unsexy name (every time I hear it, I have the urge to shout "Gesundheit!"), but he cuts a fine figure in his suit, tie and gentle smile. I can imagine accompanying Mayor Dave on a romantic streetcar ride from East Towne to West Towne and back. I hear streetcars turn him on.
Madison's lesbian congressional representative, Tammy Baldwin, looks attractive enough in her press photos. But in person - rrrowwrr! I once set up a tour of the U.S. Capitol through Tammy's office in D.C. When she came through the door to shake my hand, I was stunned by her statuesque figure, her sassy hairdo and a pair of super-high heels not recommended for filibusters. I instantly became a supporter of gay marriage - that is, the marriage of a gay congresswoman and myself.
Sen. Russ Feingold is also a looker, in that aging-progressive way, with a dark head of hair that plays well on both sides of aisle. He may have a reputation as a square, but I don't buy that for a minute. I once saw the senator at a fundraiser at the debauched Mad Cabaret, shaking tail as if reelection were the farthest thing from his mind. The syndicated radio host Stephanie Miller is seriously smitten, referring to Russ as her "future husband." Given his checkered marital history - two divorces to date - a more accurate term might be "future ex-husband."
Looking a bit to the east of Madison, Rep. Paul Ryan (Dist. 1) has the square jaw and big hair of a matinee idol. But Ryan voted against an expansion of the State Children's Health Insurance Program, undercutting his appeal as a fantasy object, at least for me. As I always say, pretty is as pretty does.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Write Tell All, 101 King St., Madison, WI, 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com.
