Dear Tell All: I’m a UW-Madison senior with parents who live near Ashland. They’re fairly conservative, and I used to be too. But I’ve evolved during my time in Madison, and it’s led to increasing tensions with my folks. The current flashpoint is my desire to get a tattoo to commemorate graduation this spring.
Many people I know have tattoos, and I’ve hung out at a lot of local tattoo parlors with them. I never thought I’d get one myself, but a couple of my best friends and I came up with the idea of getting Bucky Badger tattoos this semester to mark our time here. One of them is considering a big Bucky on his arm. I’d make mine smaller and more inconspicuous, on my back. I brought it up with my parents over winter break, and they’re freaking out.
They say that the tattoo will turn off women I might want to date. That it will look ugly. That tattoos are a fad and will be embarrassing in a few years. That one day I will want to get it removed.
I try to tell them that it’s normal for people my age to get a tattoo, that the women I date will probably have tattoos themselves, and that “ugly” is in the eye of the beholder. But I feel like I’m wasting my breath.
My parents’ trump card is threatening that they’ll stop paying for college if I get a tattoo. They claim that, while I’m still dependent on them, they should have some say over what I do, especially if they feel I’m not acting in my own best interests.
The whole thing is ruining my last semester, which I’d really been looking forward to. Any ideas for solving this problem?
Inky
Dear Inky: The fight sounds ugly, but I see room for compromise.
You might do well to consider the possibility that your parents are right. Maybe you will regret having a Bucky Badger tattoo on your back in 25 years, when you’re middle-aged, you no longer speak to your two UW friends, and college graduation no longer seems worth a stain on your back.
Your parents might do well to consider the possibility that you are a responsible adult who can make his own decisions about his body. You’re obviously thinking carefully about the tattoo, rather than getting it impulsively after a wild night at State Street Brats.
So how about this compromise: Tell your parents you will hold off on the tattoo and reconsider it in the summer or fall. That way they can feel good about your delaying the decision until you’re on your own. And you can feel good about doing something to please your parents while they’re funding your education.
Holding off on a tattoo for a few months seems like a small price to pay for family harmony at your graduation party.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?
Write Tell All, 100 State St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com