Dear Tell All: I’m feeling more and more alienated from my friends, who are lost to selfie culture.
These are smart, funny, thoughtful people who work at UW-Madison, local tech companies, or media organizations. They’re politically aware and culturally plugged in, with an ironic take on everything. They poke fun at themselves and the rest of the world in the pictures they post on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
But for all this exquisitely calibrated detachment, I can’t help noticing that my friends now live every minute immersed in social media. Every thought, impression, and experience gets posted. It’s annoying to be with them when they’re wasting time on their phones, either photographing something or commenting on someone else’s photo.
For example, a bunch of us recently went to hear music at the Memorial Union — something we’ve enjoyed together for years. But rather than paying attention to the band or each other, my friends were glued to their screens. The only communal moments came when they lifted their phones for group selfies. In such situations, everybody plasters on their best selfie smile for the post. Everybody but me. I’m finding these “happy” times increasingly mirthless.
I studied philosophy at UW-Madison and have always believed in living in the moment. My friends used to feel that way, but now they’ve fallen victim to 21st century technology.
YOLO
Dear YOLO: I was starting to feel sorry for you, but you lost me with that last sentence. It’s condescending for you to label your friends as “victims.” If they’re as intelligent and self-aware as you say, they know exactly what they’re doing. And come on, what’s wrong with having fun the way everyone else does in the 21st century?
There’s nothing wrong with being out of step with the times, the way you are. If you can’t tolerate one more group selfie, you could ditch your old friends and find people who are similarly grumpy about social media — maybe in a nursing home or a monastery?
But I’d counsel a different approach, YOLO. To quote 1980s philosopher Bobby McFerrin, “Don’t worry, be happy.” Your friends aren’t wasting time by playing with their phones at the Terrace; they’re using social media to help create a social occasion. Your life might be nicer if, instead of scowling into the camera, you smiled like everyone else.
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