Okay, so here's the way it is. I'm a student at the university, just starting my last year here. And for as long as I can remember, I've been attracted to persons of the female persuasion. I first got laid when I was a junior in high school, and it remains one of my best memories. Since then, I've hooked up with any number of women and, with a few notable exceptions (including one I will tell you about shortly), have immensely enjoyed myself. I think about women all the time. I flirt with them. I go out with them. I even indulge in women-on-women porn. I am, as far as I can tell, heterosexual. There's just this one little thing: I like to get blow jobs from guys.
Let me explain. The first time it happened was the summer after high school. A good buddy of mine and I were out driving around town, and he suddenly revealed to me that he was gay. I told him I was cool with that, which I was. But we started talking about it all, and I guess I made him feel pretty comfortable, because he propositioned me. I instinctively said no. But later in the summer, he propositioned me again, and this time I thought, "Hell, why not?" It wasn't like he expected me to do anything to him. So I did it, and I wouldn't say it was bad or good. It just was. He wanted to do it again, of course, but I didn't want to give him the wrong impression, so I said no.
Then, when I came here to go to college, I got put in a dorm room with a guy who, it turned out, was also gay. We weren't really all that close, although I liked him just fine. But we used to have this arrangement where if neither of us had had sex in a while, I'd allow him to do a number on me. Once again, I wasn't expected to do anything but lie there. And I'm sure he told his friends about it, even though I asked him not to. But by that point I didn't really care. I knew I wasn't gay, at least I knew I wasn't sexually interested in men. But I have no problem with guys who are, so if I had turned out to be gay, I wouldn't have minded that either. I just don't think I am. The thing is, I'm beginning to wonder what exactly I am.
Recently, I was out with this girl, and after messing around for a while she started going down on me. No problem there, except she wasn't exactly an expert. And what blew my mind was that, in order to get through the ordeal, I found myself pretending she was my former roommate. Not because I was attracted to him. Truth be told, I never touched him. It's just that there was a certain turn-on in how into me he was, whereas this girl, even though she'd initiated it, didn't seem all that interested. I don't think I would ever have popped the cork if I hadn't closed my eyes and pretended I was back in the dorms.
So, does that make me gay? Or bi?
Either Way's Fine
Either Way's Fine: I'd say you're a whore, and I mean that in the best way possible. I'd also say you're a lazy slut, and I mean that in the worst way possible. You're a whore because you'll apparently let anyone have sex with you. You're a lazy slut because I've yet to hear about you doing anything to anybody else. But no matter what you do or have done to you, why stick a big fat label on it? Just do what comes naturally, and repeat after me: R-E-C-I-P-R-O-C-I-T-Y.
If you're a gay man stuck in another gay man's body, write to: MR. RIGHT, ISTHMUS, 101 KING ST., MADISON, WI 53703. OR CALL 251-1206, EXT. 152. OR EMAIL MRRIGHT@ISTHMUS.COM.