In September we put out a call to Isthmus readers to submit haiku about Madison. We suggested a few categories and subjects — including Gov. Scott Walker and local celebrities — that we thought would stoke the creative fires of local poets. We received about 240 submissions, not a bad haul at all.
To guard against any bias, we assigned each haiku an ID number, omitting the author’s name from the judging process. A crack team of four Isthmoids pored over the submissions, first to make sure each had the correct number of syllables (haiku must follow the 5-7-5 syllable format), and then with a more critical eye. We picked the ones we felt were the most creative, witty and reflective of the Madison we know and love.
Brenden Carpenter takes home the top prize for his haiku about one of Madison’s favorite eccentrics, Thong Cape Scooter Man. Robert Sundling and Jude Toche tie for second place with their respective haiku about one of Madison’s least favorite persons (at least based on your haiku submissions), Scott Walker. Here they are, along with some of the others that caught our fancy.
Philip Ashby
LOCAL CELEBRITIES
An engine hums and
then I see him putter by —
Thong Cape Scooter Man
— Alais Fortier-Meyer
Thong Cape Scooter Man
Proudly riding through the wind
Embracing freedom
— Joe Vande Slunt
Marques Bovre still
singing from lonesome county
Take care of my soul
— Jeffrey Johannes
Charlie Shortino
You are a ray of sunshine
on my cloudy day
— Alais Fortier-Meyer
Philip Ashby
Robin Vos looks like
an angry butternut squash
that just needs a hug
— Treena Lahey
SCOTT WALKER
Right eye gazes right
Look, a state worker to blame
Left eye does not move
— Caitlin Tefft
Governor Walker
spends his Kohl’s cash better than
the state’s tax money
— Alais Fortier-Meyer
He was a fighter
But now leaves the arena
Intimidated
— Ellen Schneider
Eating humble pie
In his Capitol office
Walker returns home
— Mary Pelzer
Philip Ashby
Philip Ashby
WISCONSIN PASSIONS
Slicing through Wingra
A canoe slips silently
Emitting no smoke
— Darren Bush
Wisconsin is where
when life hands us lemons, we
pour a beer, instead
— Deb Tetzlaff
Brandy Old Fashioned
Two Walleye Filets, Coleslaw
Supper Club Friday
— Eric Selje
Lost in Wisconsin,
few see my true soul. Only
cheese understands me
— Andy Howard
We like our cheese curds
Almost as much as we like
Denouncing Walker
— Hillary Mitchell Warden
Favre’s last Packer pass
a four-letter word frozen
on everyone’s lips
— Jeffrey Johannes
Wisconsin treasure
large block of aged sharp cheddar
always in my fridge
— Liz Pelton
Winter morning treat
frosting welcome as the sun
kringle yumminess
— Michelle McKiernan
On a morning walk
The day after the big game
Don’t step in vomit
— Mike Rausch
From above, red ants
Streaming to their grassy church.
Touchdown: Camp Randall
— Molly Wesling
Typing from a bar,
Yes, I’ll have another one.
I’m not doing sh*t
— Natasha Florian
Philip Ashby
PAUL SOGLIN
Rebellious in youth
Time advances, mustache grays...
Now curmudgeonly
— Timothy Schwartz
When you have such an
Affable mustache you can
Police bench sleepers
— Andrew Kachel
CRITTERS
Philip Ashby
Japanese beetles
marching through in brash armor
garden Samurai
— Mary Batterman
Cud chewing bovines
Roam pastures of lushest green
Dairy nirvana
— Gail Pergande
Large, lumbering fowl
Stop traffic on Monona
Gobble, waddle, walk
— Rachel Glaza
LOCAL LANDMARKS
Green roof, white bay doors;
coxswains’ calls echoing out —
under morning dark
— Emily Setton
Before “Madison”
Taychopera meant four lakes
Effigies remain
— Susan Padberg
paradox of death
Jackson Oak’s lifeless limbs still
draw us to her dance
— Joan Halpin
Sweet Lake Mendota
sunset. What more could one need?
A friend with a boat
— Molly Wesling
Sitting in my car
Westbound Beltline super slow
Late for work again
— Linda Ladwig
A swollen cattail
Mendota swallows the sun
frogs sing till morning
— Pamela Dempsey
State Street is awesome!
It should be a promenade
No cars. Just people
— Becca Jurek
Cherokee, Tenney,
Union Terrace, Picnic Point.
Lakefront tour du jour
— Charles Mortell
Philip Ashby
Lilacs in the spring,
Mosquitoes in the summer;
Gotta love the Arb
— Darren Bush
Cows on the Concourse
Spinach spills its crinkly green
Madison in spring!
— Darwin Tichenor
Bristling with stone warts,
The Dick Outside Camp Randall
Confuses us all
— David Fisher
The Farmers’ Market
Fresh fruit, hot spicy cheese bread
Ouch! That was my heel
— Jordan Martin
Bike to work happy
No cars on the path, I smile
Say hi to turkeys
— Tara Tschillard
Mixing shade and sun
Ice cream, beer, and duck droppings
The Union Terrace!
— Will Clifton
It’s not just a bar
All roads lead to the Plaza
Quick, grab us that booth!
— Gina Chirichella
