Dear Tell All: I would describe myself as a young, independent gal who grew up pretty poor but turned out all right (and a proud feminist, to boot). Most folks who know me these days assume I came from privilege.
On a summer night at the Terrace, I stumbled head over brat into Prince Charming. Kind, intelligent, with buckets of humor...my type in spades. I think about this special friend nonstop these days.
So here's the kicker — it turns out he's considerably older and more affluent than I am. But the status/money means beans to me. In fact, it's getting in the way of me being honest and open about my feelings. Every cell revolts at the inherent power differential.
How do I tell him, and the whole damn world, that I'd love his guts in a van down by the river?
Dear Cinderella: Let me get this straight: You’ve met a man with the perfect personality, but tragically he’s also wealthy? Poor woman, how ever will you carry on?
Sorry about that, Cinderella. As a low-paid advice columnist who’s unlucky in love, I couldn’t control the sarcastic outburst. When I think about it for a minute, however, I do see your problem. You don’t want to look like a gold digger, either to Prince Charming or to the rest of the world. And as a feminist, you don’t want to feel like a gold digger for your own sense of self-worth.
Here’s the thing: You can’t control what the rest of the world thinks, so just forget about that part. If other people misinterpret your relationship, screw ’em.
As for making things clear to Prince Charming, the solution is right there in your own words: “being honest and open about your own feelings.” Tell him how much you love him while explaining your discomfort with the old/young, rich/poor dynamic. No need to choose your words too carefully. If he’s the dreamboat you say he is, he’ll intuit what you need and satisfy your every desire.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?
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