Dear Tell All: I was at Woodman's today and was surprised to see my letter about Madison bicyclists got printed ("Madison Bicylists Are Vermin," 3/13/2014), along with your response doubting my claims. Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't lie about anything. I see plenty of bicyclists breaking the law every day. Maybe you should get out of your car, take your blinders off and walk around Madison's streets, like I do every day.
Maybe you don't consider bicyclists riding on sidewalks a no-no like I do. Last week I was crossing at the crosswalk from 20 S. Park St. over to the other side and some college trash whizzed by me on his bike; no notice he was approaching me, inches away. I yelled at him but he didn't do anything. The old earbuds-in-the-ear deal.
Also, contrary to your claim of my exaggeration, not one bicyclist has ever stopped at a red light when I had the walk sign, ever. Maybe if you weren't a dopey Madison liberal you'd be able to see someone else's side other than your own.
Maybe I used the wrong word in calling bicyclists "vermin." I prefer "terminally self-absorbed assholes."
F.
Dear Tell All: For the information of bicyclist-hater F., riding a bicycle on the sidewalk is legal in Madison except on streets where buildings are built at zero setback from the sidewalk (e.g., State Street). Perhaps F. should familiarize himself with local laws before spilling bile about "illegalities."
KK
Dear KK.: I agree with you that F. should familiarize himself with local laws before spouting off. He might even try familiarizing himself with Madisonians themselves. He demonizes them as "college trash," "vermin" and "self-absorbed assholes" based merely on their biking habits and earbud use.
Rather than yelling at his fellow citizens, F. might try interacting with them in a more civil way. I bet he'd learn that the college kids and liberals are perfectly pleasant people, even if they do roll through the occasional intersection. In my mind, that's a more forgivable sin than being a mean old man.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Write Tell All, 101 King St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com.