Hey, regarding your recent letter from Mixed Nuts, whose testicles climb so high in his scrotum right before the Big Splasheroo that he fears there may be something wrong with him: I've found a direct correlation between the intensity of my Big Splasheroo (well, more of a lava flow as I've aged) and the height to which one or both of my testicles ascend. In my best orgasms, both testicles wind up firmly re-entrenched inside the body cavity. And, as Mixed Nuts noted, they gradually descend or can be gently pushed back into the scrotum.
I don't recall this having happened my whole life. But since I've been practicing diligently for quite a few years, maybe I'm just closer to achieving some sort of Splasheroo Nirvana. Whatever. When it happens, it's a wonderful thing!
Mount Vesuvius
I recently read your 'Hang 'em High' column and can't help but add some observations of my own about this little-spoken-of phenomenon. My testicles have never been what you would consider pendulous. However, even in the coldest of water they used to stay south of that place where the doctor sticks his finger and tells you to 'turn your head and cough.' Then, back when I was a power-lifter, I sustained a hernia while doing a dead-lift, and I started having the same 'problem' Mixed Nuts is having.
For some reason, it was made worse following a vasectomy I had a few years ago. Now, every time I come, at least one, if not both, of the suckers pop into their birth place until I, or a close friend, push them back where they're supposed to go. This isn't really a major problem in my life, but if Mixed Nuts' situation began like mine, he has a hernia and may need immediate surgery.
Clean Jerk
I'm not sure how relevant this is, but I have something to add to your discussion of ascending testicles right before orgasm. Back in my dating years, I briefly saw someone who fancied herself an aficionado of sex. She had all kinds of things she liked to try out on me, and who was I to discourage her experimental proclivities? One of her goals, as you might imagine, was to prolong her own pleasure, which meant delaying my own ultimate moment of pleasure. And I'll never forget the first time we had sex, when, just as I was building toward climax, she suddenly grabbed me by the balls.
Not harshly, just a firm tug. At first, I was totally freaked out, thought she was going to castrate me or something. Then I noticed that my surge toward orgasm had subsided but that my urge to keep going hadn't. Needless to say, we both had a better time than we would have had otherwise. So make of that what you will.
Nutcracker Sweet
Gentlemen: I want to thank all three of you for sharing your thoughts and feelings regarding the nuts and bolts of...well, of nuts (and the bolts of lightning they supply the electricity for). I've found that there's nothing quite like a pair of testicles to bring a group of manly men together, and I only wish you were all here with me now so we could hug a nut tree or something.
A couple of things:
Mount Vesuvius, I'm guessing that your best orgasms don't occur because your testicles are riding especially high but that your testicles ride especially high when conditions are such ' i.e., you're more stimulated than usual ' that you're about to have one of your best orgasms. And Mixed Nuts, wherever you are, I think it's time to pour your doctor a highball, if you know what I mean. Show him/her what you've got down there. And here's hoping it isn't a him/hernia.
If you have too many balls in the air, write to: MR. RIGHT, ISTHMUS, 101 KING ST., MADISON, WI 53703. OR CALL 251-1206, EXT. 152. OR E-MAIL MRRIGHT@ISTHMUS.COM.
