Lili Luxe, right, at the inaugural Nipple Equality bar crawl in 2014.
Lili Luxe, general manager at Tavernakaya on the Capitol Square, is a burlesque and fetish performer with a dynamic personality and singular mission. As a promoter, DJ and restaurant/club manager, she works hard to create safe spaces for women and queer folk, collaborating with the Rape Crisis Center on a training initiative called “Safe Bars.” For the last five years, the former Madison College court reporting instructor has organized public events where women exercise their right to be topless in public. This year, Luxe has put together a rally and night of entertainment for Aug. 26, National Go Topless Day, at the Majestic Theatre. The event will feature performances from Luxe and others, plus music from Damsel Trash, Julia McConahay, and Lyndsay Evans from Sexy Esther. Isthmus talked with Luxe about freeing the nipple, creating a culture of consent, and the liberating effects of burlesque.
How did you first get involved in promoting “nipple equality”?
I do burlesque and fetish, so for me, doing topless in public became just something that I did. I felt like who are you to tell me that a musician playing a guitar can take his shirt off onstage but I have to cover my nipples? I really wanted to have that discussion. I just became really comfortable doing it, and people got used to me doing it.
You’ve been hosting events, topless bar crawls and brunches. Have you run into trouble with gawking spectactors or the law?
In all the years that I’ve been doing these public marches, I’ve had zero issues with police, absolutely none. We can get harassed wearing a parka. We’ve just been taught shame about our bodies. At least in this city, it is our right, and if it’s a hot day and we want to mow our lawn or we’re walking downtown with our friends, it’s just like any guy would feel the comfort about removing his top clothing.
How do you help people get past the fear and internalized shame of being exposed in public?
It’s usually been a bar crawl on a Sunday afternoon. What is more Madison than walking from bar to bar and enjoying a nice day? But even though all my women friends and female-identifying people were talking about it, when the day came, there were all these messages. “Are you sure it’s going to be okay?” The turnout, while it was still good, was not what I expected. And I realized I couldn’t just do this once a year. I realized I had to address it on a smaller level that wasn’t so grand and public. So we started the brunches for people just to have the opportunity [to be topless], to be in a comforting environment, be with other women who are supporting you. Honestly, they’ve eaten their eggs, they’ve had a coffee and they’re not even thinking about it anymore. And yet they
Luxe at Fruit Fest in 2016, promoting Leather + Lace parties at Plan B.
came in with a sweater.
You’ve rented the Majestic for a benefit for the Rape Crisis Center that falls on National Go Topless Day. Do you expect people to be topless at the event?
Oh, yes, always. A lot of people come with [tops] and then shed as they go. Some people stay clothed all the time. I don’t usually allow men to attend my brunches because I’m trying to make a more confined safe space, but this yearly event has always been very inclusion-based. We will actually be in a room where we can all be in the same shades of undress and just have a good time and not have it be a big thing.
Describe the work you do on consent.
The only way to have consent work is to have the crowd buy into it. Everyone has to say “this is what we’re doing.” People want to be able to go out, have a good time and have that choice about whether to interact with you. The national campaign of “Ask First” is super simple: Would you like to have a conversation? Would you like to have a drink? No one is really owing each other anything. The idea of consent-based is also respect. Will you take the next step? “No.” No means no. It’s always about that affirmative “yes,” and isn’t “yes” a sexy word?
How does your experience as a burlesque performer inform your current work on consent and nipple equality events?
Burlesque is a form of freedom. You peel a bit of yourself off when you get on stage and shed your costume. Those fears about your saggy thighs or that people will judge you for being half-naked... poof, gone. When you hear your music cue and take that first step into the spotlight, nothing else matters. You’re free to do what you want, when you want, on your terms. For many women or LGBTQ+ in the burlesque community, being on that stage is the only time we actually feel that amount of control over our body. Keep in mind that burlesque is not always sensual or sexual; many of the performances are whimsical and funny. Truly entertainment in its barest form. I love it.
