Dylan Brogan
Ald. Rebecca Kemble (left) and state Rep. Chris Taylor take a break from an F-35 fact-finding mission in Vermont.
Madison Ald. Rebecca Kemble and state Rep. Chris Taylor (D-Madison) stand side by side inside the throwing cage. There is recycled AstroTurf beneath their feet and chain-link fences to either side of them. Each wields two-foot-long axes.
“Don’t throw them too hard. Just in case you don’t hit the target, all that energy is going to come back at you,” says Mike Garber, owner of Burly Axe Throwing in Burlington, Vermont. “You don’t want it bouncing back on you. That’s how axe-idents happen.”
Kemble and Taylor each take a practice throw. The room is silent for the first time.
“BANG! BANG!”
The sides of both axes hit the wooden target and fall to the ground. Kemble and Taylor brush off the misses. But a look of determination crosses their faces as they steady themselves for another try.
Holding the axe above her head, Kemble steps forward and releases. The axe rotates around twice as if it’s in slow-motion. “WAMP!” The blade hits squarely in the center of the bullseye. Taylor does the same. “WAMP!” The Assembly member’s axe is right on target, too.
“Nice work. Looks like we have a couple of axe-perts,” says Garber, eliciting groans from everybody else.
“It’s all those years chopping wood,” says Kemble.
Taylor offers no explanation for how she so easily caught on. “I didn’t think I was going to like this,” says Taylor. “But it’s a good stress release.”
Slinging axes is how these elected officials and community activists unwind after a long day of fact-finding. Taylor and Kemble — along with Brandi Grayson, Amelia Royko Maurer and Nicole Desaultes — are in Vermont to investigate the newly arrived F-35 Lightning II military jets.
Earlier on Oct. 23, the Wisconsinites held two press conferences at the Burlington airport, met with local officials, and attended a dinner with the Save Our Skies Vermont coalition, which opposes the basing of fighter jets in Burlington (see last week’s cover story at isthmus.com). Julie Macuga, a member of Save Our Skies Vermont, came along to stick an axe with the Madison crew.
Burly Axe Throwing has only been open for a week or so and is still being refined. Royko Maurer had phoned ahead and convinced Garber to let the Madison delegation try the new “sport” on a night that the business is supposed to be closed. Garber asks why the group is in town. He then mentions that he heard the F-35s when the first two jets arrived in Burlington in September.
“It was startling. I’ve lived in Burlington my whole life so I’m familiar with what the F-16s sound like, too,” says Garber. “Are the F-35s louder? I’m sure they are. But any military jet that flies over your house is going to be startling.”
But talk of F-35s is kept to a minimum this evening. There are axes to throw. The group looked weary when they arrived but after a few tosses, their spirits have noticeably brightened.
“What flavor of music should I turn on?” asks Garber, looking at Grayson, the only African American in the group. She shoots him a menacing look before a huge grin comes over her face.
“This one is safe to make an assumption about,” says Grayson, as she fills the room with her infectious laughter. “I like hip-hop. So how about some Lizzo?”
With “Truth Hurts” now blaring out of a Bluetooth speaker, Grayson and I step onto the AstroTurf. The axe isn’t as heavy as I had imagined it would be, but miming the throwing motion feels odd. We both awkwardly throw and the axes simultaneously hit the wall with dull thuds before falling to the ground.
“UGHHH,” I instinctively moan. Grayson just laughs and says, “Oops.”
Kemble can’t contain her giggles.
“You have premature release going on,” counsels the alder. My face turns red as the group erupts.
“What was with that noise you made?” asks Royko Maurer. “I’m not sure it helped but do it again.”
Grayson eventually gets a few good throws in. I never do get the hang of it.
Dylan Brogan
Professional axe throwing:
A relatively new sport that originated in Canadian bars about a decade ago.
The sport grew out of lumberjack competitions and is often compared to darts.
Rules (at least at Burly Axe Throwing):
Each competitor has five throws. One point is awarded for hitting the outside ring, three points for hitting the inner ring and five points for a bullseye. Player with the highest score wins that round.
Two small “clutch” marks above the target are worth seven points. If competitors are tied after five throws, they can go for the clutch mark if they call it ahead of time.
Axe-throwing bars in Wisconsin
Happy Axe Throwing in Madison
AXE MKE, Fling Milwaukee and NorthSouth Club in Milwaukee
Lumber Axe in Waukesha
Asgard Axe Throwing in the Wisconsin Dells
Tapped on the Lakeshore in Two Rivers
