Matthew Norman
Mike Marcotte, a judge with Guinness World Records, makes sure Wisconsin's cheese board is legitimately the world's largest.
All in all, it’s not that difficult to set a Guinness World Record. With intricate planning and 2 tons of cheese it can be done with little drama.
Of course, there is the minor detail of securing 2 tons of cheese, getting it to King Street near the Majestic, weighing it, cutting it, keeping it safe and edible, so 10 or so hours later, people can line up for blocks to eat it. And the detail of making something for the cheese to be presented upon. And, of course, there must be a certified Guinness adjudicator to make it all official.
No biggie.
Those details came together for the Dairy Farmers of Wisconsin, formerly known as the Wisconsin Milk Marketing Board, on Aug. 1. That’s when wheels, horns, blocks, curds and chunks of local cheese were placed upon a 35-foot cheese board that indeed looked like a real cheese board except it would only be practical if King Kong were throwing a party and invited Godzilla, some Transformers and Giannis Antetokounmpo. The goal was to break a Dutch record of 3,376 pounds.
“It’s a good way to expose people to the array of Wisconsin cheeses that are out there,” says Ken Monteleone, owner of Fromagination on the Capitol Square. “It’s not just yellow cheddar, Colby and brick.”
The idea for the giant board – custom-made by a Milwaukee exhibit company – came during a Wisconsin cheese event at South by Southwest in March. The “world’s longest cheese board” created crowds and went viral, proving that social media is as perfect a pairing with cheese as wine or beer.
“People asked, ‘Is it official?’ but it wasn’t,” says Suzanne Fanning, vice president of marketing and communications for the Dairy Farmers of Wisconsin. “But it made us think we should do something official and we should do it in Wisconsin.”
Enter Guinness World Records, whose magical judges can make the most seemingly ridiculous activity be as precise as brain surgery. Once on board, judges become project managers who help guide would-be record-holders. Experts in weights and measures, as well as food safety, were on hand for the cheese board. Cheese had to be edible and remain edible; eventually it went to those who stood in line for it, those who won raffles for it, and to Second Harvest Food Bank.
“You can’t just throw prop cheese on there,” says Mike Marcotte, the freelance Guinness adjudicator on hand to observe and declare a record.
Volunteers like Monteleone started working at dawn to weigh the cheese. There was a ringer in the pack – Henning’s Wisconsin Cheese of Kiel loaned a 2,000-pound block of cheddar that, shall we say, tipped the scales. Part of the reason there wasn’t a ton of drama to the record is that many already knew the total weight. It was then Marcotte’s job to check that the same cheese he saw being weighed was the same cheese he saw on the gigantic cheese board.
In the end, it all matched and a new record was declared: 4,437 pounds, crushing the old record like a 2,000-pound block of cheddar on an unsuspecting mouse.
Despite his official suit and nitpicky role, it was a fun day for Marcotte, whose day job is as a Twin Cities TV producer. He’s one of eight freelance Guinness adjudicators for North America and works about an event a month.
Marcotte’s ease with the camera was obvious as he was clearly the event’s rock star with selfie-seeking cheese fans. It comes with the territory, he says, but this time it was even more perfect, as evidenced by one group shot.
Crowded around Marcotte, one member of a family had an epiphany just as the smartphone snapped.
“Hey,” the woman declared, “we can say ‘cheese’ and mean it!”
94 – Awards won by Wisconsin cheese makers at the recent American Cheese Society conference in Pittsburgh. California was next, with 53.
145 – Number of Wisconsin cheeses on the world record cheese board attempt.
44 – Number of Wisconsin dairy farms that shut down in July, bringing the 2018 tally of closed farms to 382.
How to become a freelance Guinness World Records adjudicator: Mike Marcotte was lucky to know someone who told him about it. He applied, went through training in London and further training in New York. Listings pop up at guinnessworldrecords.com. Currently, the only opening is in Japan.
The work of a Guinness freelance adjudicator: In June, Marcotte judged a record attempt of the most waste paper to be shredded in eight hours. The attempt failed because the shredder had an electrical problem. Also in August, Marcotte will judge a world-record boat tie-up attempt at a lake outside Detroit where 3,000 boats will be tied together, which apparently would be some sort of record.
